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Song Parodies -> "Bad Sandwich"

Original Song Title:

"Bad Habits"

Original Performer:

Ed Sheeran

Parody Song Title:

"Bad Sandwich"

Parody Written by:

the_conqueror_of_parodies

The Lyrics

Part of my "Strawberry Ice Cream" self-challenge. Been a while since I've done a "gross food" parody. Let's fix that!
One, two, three, four
Hoo-ooh-ooh-ooh-ooh-ooh-ooh-ooh-ooh-ooh

Ev'ry bite I'm takin' now, I wish I could revoke
Ev'ry bite puts in my mouth more things that make me choke
Sauce is more akin to slime, it oozes more than flows
How'd I end up with this down my throat?

My bad sandwich is a total, absolute joke
It's aesthetic'lly a mess, it simply looks gross
Sometimes that can be the point like a good Sloppy Joe
But in this case, that ain't true, I fume, I lose
My bad sandwich is a sad pile there on my plate
Gotta say, it isn't worth ev'ry cent that I paid
Yeah, I would calculate it all but it's ruined my brain
Same thing would happen to you, it's true, it's true, my bad sandwich makes me puke

Hoo-ooh-ooh-ooh-ooh-ooh-ooh-ooh-ooh-ooh
My bad sandwich makes me puke
Hoo-ooh-ooh-ooh-ooh-ooh-ooh-ooh-ooh-ooh
My bad sandwich makes me puke

Pretty sure the lettuce in this thing's more brown than choc
The tomatoes are hard discs, the onions squeak like chalk
At least they got one damn thing right: the pickles are all gone
Too focused on that to see the rot (whoo!)

My bad sandwich had red flags that it'd be gross
But I didn't notice 'til they went down my throat
Smell got missed because I had real fresh fries on the nose
Not mine, please, I'm tryna lose a few pounds, dude
My bad sandwich is so damn vile, I wouldn't raise
An eyebrow if it grew legs and then tried to escape
Yeah, I've been tryna flag someone down for them to explain
How the kitchen went and screwed me, dude, it's true, my bad sandwich makes me puke

Hoo-ooh-ooh-ooh-ooh-ooh-ooh-ooh-ooh-ooh
My bad sandwich makes me puke
Hoo-ooh-ooh-ooh-ooh-ooh-ooh-ooh-ooh-ooh

Need a brand new one now
What I've had might come back out now

My bad sandwich will not stay in my gut, you know
The bun may not have been green, still stale as dad jokes
I can feel it churn, goddamn, does it wanna explode
Rinse my mouth before I choose to chew more, dude
My bad sandwich could mean that the chef's head's in space
Or he took to the hard plonk, dinner rush is insane
Yeah, I've been thinkin' 'bout the "why", gotta engage my brain
Might forget about the food I chewed on, dude, my bad sandwich makes me puke

Hoo-ooh-ooh-ooh-ooh-ooh-ooh-ooh-ooh-ooh
My bad sandwich makes me puke
Hoo-ooh-ooh-ooh-ooh-ooh-ooh-ooh-ooh-ooh
My bad sandwich makes me puke

I don't agree with Todd in the Shadows about this song being boring (we have very different distinctions as to what "boring" means in a song, I've found), but I do agree that the video is all kinds of stupid. Why is vampire Ed in league with Dormammu? Why start in a hairdresser's? Why the slap fight against smiley balloons? What does this have to do with late night drunk bonking?

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 LittleLots
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Voting Results

 
Pacing: 3.0
How Funny: 3.0
Overall Rating: 3.0

Total Votes: 2

Voting Breakdown

The following represent how many people voted for each category.

    Pacing How Funny Overall Rating
 1   1
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 2   0
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 3   0
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 4   0
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 5   1
 1
 1
 

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