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Song Parodies -> "Beatin' Cubbies"

Original Song Title:

"Makin' Whoopie"

Original Performer:

Eddie Cantor

Parody Song Title:

"Beatin' Cubbies"

Parody Written by:

Michael Pacholek

The Lyrics

"Do they still play the blues in Chicago when baseball season rolls around? When the snow melts away, do the Cubbies still play in their ivy-covered burial ground?" -- Steve Goodman. "It's a beautiful day for a ballgame. Let's play two!" -- Ernie Banks, shortstop-first baseman, 1953-71, 512 homers, Mr. Cub. "Harry": Harry Caray, broadcaster, St. Louis Cardinals 1945-69, Chicago White Sox 1971-81, Chicago Cubs 1982-97. Mike Wilbon: Chicago native and Cub fan, columnist for the Washington Post, co-host of ESPN's "Pardon the Interruption."
Another day, another game.
Another blowout, another shame.
Seems every season
another reason
for beatin' Cubbies.

The ivy walls are made of brick.
The way the Cubs play, it makes you sick.
Alas, poor Ernie, teams made the journey.
They're beatin' Cubbies.

Hitters, nervous and jiggly
they see the wind blow out
but they don't have to pitch at Wrigley
so they relax and clout.

So get the plop, and get the fizz.
"It may be, it could be, it is!"
And so said Harry, when balls did carry.
They're beatin' Cubbies.

Another year, or maybe less
what's this I hear? Or can't you guess?
Your ace is huffing, rotator cuffing.
They're beatin' Cubbies.

They're gettin' beat each day and night.
The bullpen phone, don't bring delight.
Goodbye, Mark Prior, and you say, "Why are
they beatin' Cubbies?"

These players make some money.
Five million dollars per.
Some fan who thinks he's funny
thinks they'll reach October.

Hey, Mike Wilbon.
Suppose they fail?
"Don't act surprised.
That ship has sailed."
Your team's a keeper.
Others are cheaper.
They're beatin' Cubbies.
"I've got season tickets to watch the angels play now, and that's just what I'm gonna do. But you, the living, you're stuck here with the Cubs, so it's me that feels sorry for you!" -- Steve Goodman (1948-1984).

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Original Song: 
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Voting Results

Pacing: 4.2
How Funny: 4.2
Overall Rating: 4.2

Total Votes: 5

Voting Breakdown

The following represent how many people voted for each category.

    Pacing How Funny Overall Rating
 1   1
 2   0
 3   0
 4   0
 5   4

User Comments

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Claude Prez - June 21, 2005 - Report this comment
Ha ha you guys lost to Tampa last night. Great parody though. Dammit.
AFW - June 21, 2005 - Report this comment
Right outa' the park...with this one.. tricky and clever rhyming
alvin rhodes - June 21, 2005 - Report this comment favorite of the day...5s plus
Patrick Yoness - June 21, 2005 - Report this comment
Very classy and 5-worthy.
MIKE - November 07, 2012 - Report this comment

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