I went to the mall and met Santa Claus
He asked me to tell him what I wanted for Christmas
But he rolled his eyes when I gave him my answer
And then he said to me:

Mint schmint, candy schmandy
Grog and fruitcake aint so dandy
It isn't Christmas if you haven't got love.

Tree schmee, presents schmesents
Lights and tinsel aren't the essence
Nuthin' but bling if you haven't got love.

Christmastime is not silver and not gold
It's about the greatest story that's been told.

Games schmames, toys schmoys
Everything for girls and boys
They just wear out, but you always have love.

Jeans schmeans, sweaters schmeaters
Keep you warm in nasty weather
What keeps you warm if you haven't got love.

I phones I schmones, plasma schmasma
Runs up bills and more miasma
A pain in the ass so I'd rather have love.

Love is just an attitude that you must grow
The great man in the Bible always said so.

Twitter schmitter, facebook schmacebook
Play around 'till you get space hooked
Just don't forget who's the reason for, seasonal joy. - Tah dah!

You didn't get that bonus, Homer.
Why you little - !
Aak, aak, aak ..... tah dah!