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Song Parodies -> "Hesitating"

Original Song Title:


Original Performer:

Dua Lipa ft. DaBaby

Parody Song Title:


Parody Written by:


The Lyrics

Part of my "Strawberry Ice Cream" self-challenge. The final part, in fact (not including the supplemental)! You know, I could've sworn I've done a parody about the "run in half-cocked with no plan" approach to military strategy. But then again, the people who employ this strat need more than one reminder, so let's go ahead with it anyway.
You're too hasty, always actin' way too drastic, just hold on
Do I need a crook to pull you back? Friggin' hold on

Always wanna break away from me to fight the enemy
Never not Leeroy Jenkins time (hey!)
Not joinin' your tradition 'cause it's simply not my mission
To get my ass blown up sky high (whoo!)
Take a little time, wait a little while
Try it for once in your life (hey!)
Why'd they saddle you with me? They know I'm of a patient breed
And your fuse is the shortest type (whoo! Hahahaha)

Just watch me, get a clue, buddy
See what I do: I'm hesistatin'
Because the fray will be there waitin'
Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah (whoo!)

You're a fool (ooh-ooh-ooh), that's right, you'll find my style
Will make you (ooh-ooh-ooh-ooh) not die, don't act drastic'lly, start hesistatin'
Fool, that's right (you're a fool, right), you fly then cry
Because you won't try to wait, act like me, start hesistatin'

I'm known for my patience, no point debatin' on it (I won't)
If you hesitated, won't need to be medicated
You're chargin' towards the guns with only a blade, that's hardly (dope)
A practical method, not heard the sayin' (whoo!)
"Don't bring a knife to a gun fight"? Keep havin' to re-explain it
You can't run on pure gumption and think your ass gonna make it (whoo!)
You see what I'm standin' out here doin' (yeah)? Might look like jack-all
But I've been plannin' ev'ry movement (uh-uh), uh-uh, let's go (whoo!)
One foot then look, hesitatin' (c'mon)
Sounds wrong (so), there's a ground trap down there waitin'
My weapons won't see use until I'm sure I've got good aimin' (go)
Won't spend all my clips like you've done, it won't help the situation
So clam up, go put some real thought in to what you do, don't head up (yeah, yeah)
Our backup's sick of the calls, this can be done better (hey)
Just because you're bein' bolder won't make 'em let up
They'll blow your ass up, you great douche

Wait for me (ayy) and my cue, buddy (hey)
Won't barrel through, I'm hesistatin'
Don't be afraid to sit here waitin'
Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah (whoo!)

You're a tool (ooh-ooh-ooh), that's right, your style is shite
Will make you (ooh-ooh-ooh-ooh) just die, act more passively, start hesistatin'
Tool, that's right (you're a tool, right), don't cry that I
Hold back you, just try to wait, act like me, start hesistatin' (whoo!)
Charge into the fray? It's not the time, you'll get blown away, wait for the sign
That I'll send your way before you fight, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, start hesistatin' (whoo!)
Just because you're brave don't mean you're right, to an early grave is where you'll find
You'll end up, just wait a bit this time, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah (whoo!)

You shoot off like a rocket, watch you blast off
Then you end up screamin' "Medic!" and I cast off
Half of my plans but I've still got a vast log
Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah (whoo!)
Despite how long it took to get your casts off
From the last time that you ran in there all half-cocked
It really seems at runnin' in, you can't stop
Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah

You call me so slack and lazy
'Cause I don't move, I'm hesitatin'
It's hard to take your denigratin'

Because you (yeah) won't try my style and find (whoo!)
That then you will fly (you fly) through the sky, I seethe (let's go), try hesitatin' (whoo!)
Run into the fray because you like (you like) all the press next day's on you despite
It all bein' "This Insane Dumb Guy", yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah ("Watch This Dumbass Fly"), start hesistatin' (whoo!)
You can always say your plan was fine (so fine), distract while your mate hacks all the files
Retcons all the way, I know your style, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah (it's your stupid style)
You're a fool, you'll die soon-like, that's right
Unless you think right next time, act like me, start hesistatin'

Aaaaand I just learned I forgot to add the self-challenge tag to yesterday's parody like some kind of an idiot. Oh well, it's not high on the list of screw-ups I could've made, well outclassed by things like "mispell the original artist", "copy-paste into the wrong fields" and biggest of all "forget to submit the whole damn thing in the first place".

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Pacing: 5.0
How Funny: 5.0
Overall Rating: 5.0

Total Votes: 13

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