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Song Parodies -> "Shipwreck"

Original Song Title:

"Rich Flex"

Original Performer:

Drake & 21 Savage

Parody Song Title:

"Shipwreck"

Parody Written by:

the_conqueror_of_parodies

The Lyrics

Part of my "Cut the Flowers Supplemental" self-challenge. In fact, it's the final one! Huzzah! Let's go exploring to celebrate!
It's such a mystery how this tub worth about ten figures could eat shit
That sucks, little bit pissed, yeah
At the bottom of the world
Rustin', the life to be had ain't human, it's mad bad, yeah
It's not a good look (shit)
Yeah, checkin' junk, love it
Gotta sift through ev'ry single bit, truly

Checkin' junk that has fallen to the sea (checkin' junk)
Look for ev'ry single shipwreck, they're neat (checkin' junk)
Love checkin' junk that has fallen to the sea (checkin' junk, checkin' junk)
Searchin' hard for whatever's left for me
Keep checkin' junk (checkin' junk) that has fallen to the sea (yeah)
Each ship dropped in the dark depths for me (okay)
Checkin' junk, that's my thing, checkin' junk, that's my thing (checkin' junk)
That's my thing, checkin' junk, that's my thing

Gonna sink down to the spot where the big ship dropped
'Cause they didn't wanna stop when up danger popped
Could be that they didn't know where the brakes were because
They were total clots, about as thick as a brain one
Maybe from sabotagin'? Could be somethin'
Pirates came attackin', cannonballin'
Or some slipshod-ass engineerin' from crunchin'
Depends on the time period, buddy, just spitballin'
I'mma scavenge (checkin' junk), scrap bits, refuse and salvage (checkin' junk, checkin' junk)
To then work out exactly what had happened (truly)
Can't just ask the sad survivors this, it could go badly (truly)
Might bring back old memories which could be sad, geez (checkin' junk)
And if they caused it (checkin' junk), shit, they'd off me (checkin' junk)
Rather face my fears of sharks with teeth (jaws)
Than the risk of dredgin' up shipbound conspiracies (checkin' junk)
For all the money, it sunk

Down I go, down my sub goes
A lot of pressure that might push right through, I don't wanna crack, that'd blow
Water tricklin', that would disrupt my work, all the progress would be slowed
And that'd really suck, although, of course, not as much as drownin' blows
Now that'd really suck balls
Ayy, ayy, ayy, ayy, ayy
I swear I'm gonna crack this, ayy, wanna crack this, ayy
Gonna crack this, ayy, wanna crack this, ayy

Sink below so I'll know
If the ship's got treasure on
Sure, I'll learn loads about how it fell below
But there will be stuff that I can sell for loads, ayy
Bog-standard golden pieces, jewel-studded jewellery
Old money's not that good for me since paper dissolves easily
Hence why I'm not lookin' for wreck clues inside a journal sheet
They're lost to history if they were left down in here, I'd weep
If there was not a ton of other stuff left in here for me
Both to spill on the nasty details and start my own GDP
It's close to plunderin', that's iffy stuff but I think I'm clean
Not ancient cultures that I'm gonna take from, just people's greed
A bunch of rich assholes skimpin' on all the safety shit
Need that safety shit
These wooden keels from armadas out to steal and kill
Ayy, no guilt from lootin' them, I'm sold, I'll take from swill
Slipp'ry slope, this shit, hope it's not too late
And I still retain the capability to wait
And think over if it's best to leave somethin' there, I'd hate
If I'm just an asshole with a thin "justified" paint
Checkin' junk's my hobby and a side hustle, that's great
But I'd stop if I feel like a complete taint
For now, I'll wait, won't yet re-evaluate
Until I can get this octopus out my face, ayy

Ah, what, what
Gonna nab this, ayy, wanna nab this, ayy
Gonna nab this, ayy, wanna nab this, ayy
Gonna nab this, ayy, wanna nab this, won't stop
Until I think that I am the asshole, like, ooh
Stop in a snap, you hear me?

On the one hand it feels weird that this song didn't make it into the full United State of Pop even though a lot of 2022 leftovers scraped in. On the other hand this was such a slog to listen to so screw it. Back to randomly selected parodies tomorrow!

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Voting Results

 
Pacing: 5.0
How Funny: 5.0
Overall Rating: 5.0

Total Votes: 14

Voting Breakdown

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    Pacing How Funny Overall Rating
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 2   0
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 3   0
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 4   0
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 5   14
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 14
 

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