It's busted, yes, I'm pissed off
Not much I can do, alright (la-la-la-la-la-la)?
It's a constant, unendin' problem
Makin' my blood pressure rise

Damn you, flimsy door
Piece of junk, it's always so damn friggin' loose, uh, oh-ooh-ooh-ooh-ooh-ooh
Makes me mis'rable
When it falls off and it drops another screw, uh, oh-ooh-ooh-ooh-ooh-ooh
Once more, lost my place (ah) 'cause it's off its frame (ah, ah)
Doesn't wanna stay (ah), la-la-la-la-la (ah)
Just won't stay shut, the bastard (la-la-la-la-la)
Drivin' me insane (ah), no work done today (ah, ah)
I'm red in the face (ah), la-la-la-la-la (ah)
Shoutin' "Stay shut, you bastard!" (la-la-la-la-la)

I, I feel like punchin' somethin' each time a small gust is comin'
You would think that means nothin', nothin', you've not seen this lump of rubbish
Barely nick it and off it's comin', those hinges aren't holdin' nothin'
Doesn't look like the parts are rusted, regrettin' that dark paint on it
I've tried ev'rything to fix it, dude (ha, ha), from duct tape to nails, even friggin' glue (ha, ha)
Nothin' that I've done so far's managed to stick, it's true (ha, ha), figurative and lit'ral too (ha, ha)
Want a silver linin'? Thing is, dude (ha, ha), it's the single friggin' exit, true (ha, ha)
Who designed that shit? That prick was rude to then include this crude thing in too, huh

Damn you, flimsy door
Piece of crud, it's never not completely loose, uh, oh-ooh-ooh-ooh-ooh-ooh
Should be criminal
How it sucks, it makes an awful creak noise too, uh, oh-ooh-ooh-ooh-ooh-ooh
Solid style, this ain't (ah), worthless as a gate (ah, ah)
Such a total pain (ah), la-la-la-la-la (ah)
Just won't stay shut, the bastard (la-la-la-la-la)
Handle never stays (ah) in its friggin' place (ah, ah)
Purple in the face (ah), la-la-la-la-la (ah)
Shoutin' "Stay shut, you bastard!"

It's drivin' me nuts, I've said that enough, I'll repeat it 'till I get what I want
Those executive dicks who always doubt me, not just bitchin' because I'm bored, discount me
I've sent 'em lots of e-mails, nothin', pictures of the details, nothin'
Always give me the same old bullcrap (ah): "Is it bringin' down sales? No? Screw that"
So I've come up with this, it's a little mad plan, show those little *beep*, excuse that
Customer's always correct, they know that, so if you somehow place a small call, man
Make a big-ass deal (ha-ah) about how you feel (ha-ah)
Threaten to sue them for real, they'll soon solve the issue

Damn you, flimsy door
It's a dud, I've never seen somethin' this loose, uh, oh-ooh-ooh-ooh-ooh-ooh
Could be fixable
If somebody sent a handyman or two, oh, oh-oh-ooh-ooh-ooh (oh, want some)
That'd be insane (ah), boss would have to pay (ah, ah)
That can't be the way (ah), oh, la-la-la-la (ah)
He's such a crusty bastard
Don't mention my name (ah), when your call is placed (ah, ah)
For your big complaint (ah), oh, la-la-la-la (ah)
Like I said, such a bastard