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Song Parodies -> "Evil Glow"

Original Song Title:

"Need to Know"

Original Performer:

Doja Cat

Parody Song Title:

"Evil Glow"

Parody Written by:

the_conqueror_of_parodies

The Lyrics

Part of my "Strawberry Ice Cream" self-challenge. Wanna know the best way to tell if something's evil? Check if it's glowing green. Unless it's a friendly dryad or the Master Emerald, it's a good shot that it's eeeeeeevil.
Yeah

Orb is so friggin' bright (bright), not a very friendly light (light)
No, it's not the holy type (type), bringin' hope to darkest nights
Yeah-ee-yeah-eah (ooh), oh-ooh-whoa-ooh-whoa-oh (ooh, mmm)
Crazy (yeah), that evil glow (evil), mmm-mmm-mmm (glow)
Really uneasy vibin' (vibe), hopin' that we have the time (time)
To work out why it shines (shines) and snuff it out, quick-like
Yeah-ee-yeah-eah, oh-ooh-whoa-ooh-whoa-oh (oh-oh)
Crazy, that evil glow, mmm-mmm-mmm

What a sight (sight), check that eerie light (light)
That shade of green that lurks (lurks) in only nasty sites (sites)
Radioactive dens (dens), barrel-of-acid vibes (vibes)
Takin' me back to when (when) I raved all damn night
Yeah-ee-yeah-eah, whoa-ooh-whoa-ooh-whoa
So weird in how it's perpetual (oh), end's not eventual (yeah)
There's not a flicker, it's drivin' me crazy, so incomprehensible (so ill)
Must get a grip or the day is lost (so ill), is it magic why it's blazin' on (so ill)?
Or should I find where the cable's gone (yeah, oh)? There's a diff'rence, it could change a lot (yeah, ayy)
One needs breakin' through the haze of wrong (yeah, ayy), other needs a mouse to make a nom
Then do I dare get it onto me? With that, I'm wonderin' if it's a solid or whether
If it's a gas or it's possibly liquid, one of the three, changin' how I will sever that evil glow (yeah)

That orb is really bright (bright), not in a way that invites (-vites)
People to bathe in that light (light) unless they all wanna die
Yeah-ee-yeah-eah (ooh), oh-ooh-whoa-ooh-whoa-oh (ooh, mmm)
Crazy (yeah), that evil glow (evil), mmm-mmm-mmm (glow)
I don't like how it's shinin' (shine), feel like it can hypnotize (-tize)
Make us run out of time (time) to snuff it out, quick-like
Yeah-ee-yeah-eah, oh-ooh-whoa-ooh-whoa-oh (oh-oh)
Crazy, that evil glow, mmm-mmm-mmm

It's so shiny, begs "Come try me"
Almost sold me, it's so wily
Tempts so sweet, it's green, that's lime-y
Bitter, grimy (yuh), mmm, nice try, green (uh)
What'll it do if I gave it a tap? Prolly just one tap will zap my whole ass (uh)
All of my flesh will most likely start meltin', just a skeleton but not one that's livin' (mmm)
Oh, wait, will it grant me some magic? No, stupid, this is no magic lamp (yeah)
Even if a djinn is within (oh-oh-oh-oh), will be one that's a wish-twistin' prick (uh)
Power-grantin'? That ain't likely (uh)
Singe off my skin, death from within, maybe transform me into a small pig (uh)
Zap me, blast me, blow me, ice me (ew)
No way I can take it (ah), better shut it off 'fore it starts flayin' (yeah)

Normally love things bright (bright) but this is an evil light (light)
Not a yellow or blue type (type), it's the green that spells "doom", right
Yeah-ee-yeah-eah (ooh), oh-ooh-whoa-ooh-whoa-oh (ooh, mmm)
Crazy (yeah), that evil glow (evil), mmm-mmm-mmm (glow)
"But green means nature!" Tryin' (try) to not slap you, have no time (time)
We need to kill this shine (shine), must snuff it out, quick-like
Yeah-ee-yeah-eah, oh-ooh-whoa-ooh-whoa-oh (oh-oh)
Crazy, that evil glow, mmm-mmm-mmm

Mmm-mmm-mmm

"Why is it that deadly chemicals are always green? Why can't they ever be pink?" - Batgirl

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Voting Results

 
Pacing: 5.0
How Funny: 5.0
Overall Rating: 5.0

Total Votes: 13

Voting Breakdown

The following represent how many people voted for each category.

    Pacing How Funny Overall Rating
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 3   0
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 5   13
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User Comments

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Technicolor Science - December 20, 2021 - Report this comment
Fun fact: a lot of the most dangerous acids ARE actually pink (as are drain-cleaning crystals and rust-cleaning gel, neither of which you would want to get on your skin); and gamma-radiation-spewing nuclear reactors don't typically glow green, but rather blue with the Cherenkov radiation they're also generating.

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