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Song Parodies -> "There's Ghouls Outside!!"

Original Song Title:

"Baby, It's Cold Outside"

Original Performer:

Dean Martin

Parody Song Title:

"There's Ghouls Outside!!"

Parody Written by:


The Lyrics

This is my entry into the Artistry round 93: Tim from down the street just stopped in because...well...the people in the street don't seem all that friendly all of a sudden. He's wondering what the problem is as Steve, grizzled survivalist, breaks it down to him:
I really can't stay
(Hey dummy, there’s ghouls outside)
I've got to get away
(Stupid! There’s ghouls outside!)
Those guys were my friends
(I’m hoping they don’t get in)
They’re very nice
(They’re zombies now, they're cold as ice)
I’d better try not to worry
(Idiot, what’s your story?)
I wonder if they’re here anymore
(Better get away from that door)
So maybe then, if I hurry…
(Hey, is your logic furry?!)
Well, maybe I should wait a bit more
(Good idea, come sit on the floor)
The people in town?
(People are dead out there)
Hey…what was that sound?
(They want to be fed out there)
I wish I knew how
(I’m betting they’re hungry now)
This all began
(They think we’re both just zombie chow)
I heard a scream “no, no, help me”
(Anything new you can tell me?)
I think that I can help if I try
(What's the sense in rushing to die?)
I really can't stay
(Oh, brother, don’t go out!)

both: Cause there are ghouls outside!

I simply must go
(But stupid, there’s ghouls outside)
And how do you know?
(Because there’s GHOULS outside!!)
Your shelter has been
(Oh please, don’t let them in)
Safe and secure
(We’re well protected, that’s for sure)
My family will be suspicious
(They pro’lly thought they’re delicious)
My father may be there at the door
(he’s another walker, for sure)
I think you’re too super-stitious
(No, I’m not. They are vicious)
But maybe I should wait a bit more
(‘Zactly like I told you before!)
I really must run
(But zombies remain out there)
So? Lend me a gun
(They’ll chew on your BRAIN out there!)
I don’t understand
(Hey, what is that on your hand?)
What? I feel fine
(Man, have you lost your f**king mind!?) –*cocks his shotgun*
That’s just a scratch from my kitten
(Back away, you’ve been bitten!)
You’d shoot me while I’m still in my prime?
(Only just a matter of time)
I really can’t sta- *BOOM!*
(I just blew his brains out…)

And there’s still ghouls outside…

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Matches Pace of
Original Song: 
How Funny: 
Overall Score: 

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Voting Results

Pacing: 5.0
How Funny: 5.0
Overall Rating: 5.0

Total Votes: 8

Voting Breakdown

The following represent how many people voted for each category.

    Pacing How Funny Overall Rating
 1   0
 2   0
 3   0
 4   0
 5   8

User Comments

Comments are subject to review, and can be removed by the administration of the site at any time and for any reason.

Old Man Ribber - March 30, 2011 - Report this comment
Syncronos - Top-flight work here...and funny! Good luck. ;D
AFW - March 30, 2011 - Report this comment
Cool ghoul spoof with dead-on pacing, rhymes that rule, and great consistency
Matthias - March 30, 2011 - Report this comment
Welcome back to Artistry! This one is going to be tough to beat!
John Barry - March 30, 2011 - Report this comment
Ghoulishly good.
Old Man Ribber - March 30, 2011 - Report this comment
The Artistry again! Why can't I access it on In The 00s? ;D
Matthias - April 09, 2011 - Report this comment
This one was absolutely brilliant. I would have never thought to turn this Christmas song into a Halloween song about zombies. Could have been written by George Romero himself.
Blaydeman - April 10, 2011 - Report this comment
(Artistry) I'm always a sucker for zombie parodies! I loved this one!
Mark Scotti - April 10, 2011 - Report this comment
(Artistry) - REALLY well done..and zombiriffic!
Below Average Dave - April 13, 2011 - Report this comment
This song turned into a Halloween classic is just very unique, I liked it a lot. . .one minor quibble, the pacing for me was iffy, but regardless good idea to this OS and very funny
Agrimorfee - April 15, 2011 - Report this comment
(Artistry) A genius way to utilize the duet nature of the tune into a funny idea with a horror twist Stephen King would dig!
bobpiecheese - April 21, 2011 - Report this comment
(Artistry) Basically what Agri said. Way to turn a song I don't really like into an amusing ditty of zombies and morons. 555!
Rex - April 22, 2011 - Report this comment
(Artistry) If you think there's ghouls in your neighborhood, who ya gonna call? Synchronos! Excellent concept and (here comes the pun) execution.
2Eagle - December 07, 2018 - Report this comment
Good Halloween version of the OS.

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