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Song Parodies -> "That's Bad Porno"

Original Song Title:

"That's Amore"

Original Performer:

Dean Martin

Parody Song Title:

"That's Bad Porno"

Parody Written by:

Phil Alexander

The Lyrics


(In Denmark, when they're filming)
(When boy meets girl)
(Here's what they say)

When the dialogue's poor
Well, we all know the score:
That's bad porno
When the girl is a good 'un
But the acting is wooden
That's bad porno

Then she'll go
Uh-uh-uh-uh-oh
Uh-uh-uh-uh-oh
It's like ventriloquism
As she'll blow
Fellow-ay-shee-yo
Fellow-ay-shee-yo
Till he loses his.. temper

When she's down on her knees
Taking on guys in threes
That's bad porno
When the words are all mang-
led, the bangs are all gang... that's hard core
On the soundtrack she's screamin'
But her mouth's full of.. somethin'
When you see such cheesy
Clich├ęd por-nography, that's bad porno

(When something hits her face)
(And all over the place, that's bad porno)

That's bad porno

(When what's between her thighs)
(Is humungous in size, that's bad porno)

That's bad porno

(See that thing)
(Swing-a-ling-a-ling)
(Ding-a-ling-a-ling)
(Like a ship's screw propellor)
(Screw propellor)
(Girls will play)
(Tippi-tippi-tay, tippi-tippi-tay)
(Like a gay tarantella)

Lucky fella

When she looks like a man
And talks like Jackie Chan
That's bad porno (that's bad porno)
When the men with those chicks
Have their brains in their... feet
It's bad porn
Though she may be Itai
But she don't even sai "Buon giorno"
If it's me that you see
You know it's got to be that bad porno

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Matches Pace of
Original Song: 
How Funny: 
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Voting Results

 
Pacing: 4.6
How Funny: 4.6
Overall Rating: 4.6

Total Votes: 23

Voting Breakdown

The following represent how many people voted for each category.

    Pacing How Funny Overall Rating
 1   2
 2
 2
 
 2   0
 0
 0
 
 3   0
 0
 0
 
 4   2
 1
 1
 
 5   19
 20
 20
 

User Comments

Comments are subject to review, and can be removed by the administration of the site at any time and for any reason.

McKludge - November 19, 2007 - Report this comment
Ones? Must have been some REALLY bad porno. Baum-chicka-baum-bwaum, dum-bwaum. 555
Carmine (2-LOUD) Boccotesta - November 19, 2007 - Report this comment
Hey-e Ovah 'eah, HUH? Huz da gamoke wut lef da wonz? Um puddin outta contrak on hiz azz sunz az I fines out huz hiz azz iz. Any parity watz gotz da woids "Buon giorno" in id iz off limids fer given it wunz. Dere iz gonna bees won lest parity reeder in da woild befoh dis day iz dun. 2-LOUD OUTTA 'EAH!
Guy - November 19, 2007 - Report this comment
Pizza delivery guy: Hey lady here's your pizza.
Lady: Is my order right?
Pizza delivery guy: Hamburger and mushroom, right?
Lady: No I ordered pepperoni hamburger and mushroom.
Pizza delivery guy: Well here's the hamburger and mushroom (unzips pants) and here's the pepperoni.

Phil - I've never actually watched a porn flick. By your description it sounds like it is action packed. Who needs dialog when there's a lot of action in a movie. Brilliant play off on the OS here. Gotta five this. And I hope Don B. puts a hit on that ones guy and gets rid of him once and for all.
Guy - November 19, 2007 - Report this comment
Hey McKludge - I don't think your 5s registered. Hit 'em again and see.
Jack Wilson - November 19, 2007 - Report this comment
That was HILARIOUS,5s
Red Ant - November 19, 2007 - Report this comment
5 Money shots for this one, Phil. Especially liked the subs for the "ring-a-ling-aling" parts.
alvin - November 19, 2007 - Report this comment
my fave of the day...great stuff
Project Sisyphus - November 19, 2007 - Report this comment
Funny parody, although I don't think I'd admit to watching enough porno to become a critic, even if I had. (And I haven't. No really.)
Below Average Dave (badave.com) - November 19, 2007 - Report this comment
Hilarious idea to a classic song Phil. . .I too have to say I'd be hard for me to critique a pornography. . .the acting is always bad, the musical accompaniment (if you can call it that) is even worse) and the finale? My mind is FAR more creative.
Rick C - November 19, 2007 - Report this comment
Brilliant take on an old classic, Phil! 555
Carmine (2-LOUD) Boccotesta - November 19, 2007 - Report this comment
Hey-e Ovah 'eah, HUH? Ged me Frankie (Geek-Bytes) Computadora onna phone. Was takin' im zo long gettin' dat wonz guy rund down. I godda boyz ready to do da contrak. What um payin the Geek fer if'n he cand run down won gamoke watz gotz me earadated? The Geek best be comin trew er else. 2-LOUD OUTTA 'Eah.
PMS - November 19, 2007 - Report this comment
This makes me picture in my mind some 5s having a threesome
BonnieB - November 19, 2007 - Report this comment
Well I have watched bad and good porno and read good and bad parodies. This ones all 5's. WTG, Phil.
MrMacphisto - November 19, 2007 - Report this comment
This was definitely the best of today... LOL... 5-5-5
John Jenkins - November 20, 2007 - Report this comment
Clever. I like the self-deprecating humor at the end.
stuart mcarthur - November 20, 2007 - Report this comment
as opposed to decent porno - full of trademark subtle Phil gags and winks to the reader - loved them all - 555
Dee Range - November 20, 2007 - Report this comment
There's only two types of porno....great, and ever better. Kinda like your parodies. This is great stuff, right up my alley so to speak
Phil Alexander - November 20, 2007 - Report this comment
Like, er... wow.. what a reception :-D Thanks, everybody
Carmine - trying to decipher what you said... you liked it, right?
Guy - really? You still on dial-up or something? But you've obviously seen the one with the pizza delivery guy ;-) (and thanks for calling McK on his missing vote)
Stu - "Phil gags"???
PMS - 5s in a threesome? You got that on video, buddy?
JJ - frankly I don't know quite how these guys manage it - must be the biggest (so to speak) reason for not watching porn is the sense of inferiority it gives ;-)
Dee - I guess you're lucky if you've not caught any of the bad stuff
Kristof Robertson - November 20, 2007 - Report this comment
I would've visited this earlier, Phil, but I was...um....busy. Brilliant stuff, mate (you're on a roll at the mo')...so I'll type in another set of 5s for ya (with my right hand ;-))
Don (2-LOUD) Boccotesta - November 20, 2007 - Report this comment
Hey-e - Ovah 'eah, HUH? Watz da maddah wit dis Phil guy ovah dere. Hey yous no speaks Enlich or wut? An' yeah, shoewa I liked id find. Oh fergot ta menshun da Bytes foun da wonz guy an hes gotz dealt wit if'n yas ketch da drif ovah 'eah. Funny Guy Tunz tells a bit aboud id in hiz parity today wut ain't ben putz out 'eah yet. 2-LOUD OUTTA 'EAH.
Phil Alexander - November 20, 2007 - Report this comment
Say, thanks Don - sure, I speak English, but at times I ain't so sure I read it too good.
Kristof - I didn't realize you were left-handed ;-)
Sister Amnesia - November 20, 2007 - Report this comment
Titter ! 5-5-5 Hey hey... specifically to "3x1's" - what did ya think the parody was about? I guess you just had to take a peek! ROFLOL

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