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Song Parodies -> "Matrimonay!"

Original Song Title:

"That's Amore"

Original Performer:

Dean Martin

Parody Song Title:

"Matrimonay!"

Parody Written by:

Kristof Robertson

The Lyrics

It's a nice day for a white...ah, forget it....
[WEDDING PLANNER]
The wedding march
Begins to play
You're feeling sick
You're gonna spray

[DINO]
When you're due to be wed, you may be filled with dread
Matrimonay!
You proposed after sex, now she actually expects
Matrimonay!
She makes plans: honeymoon in France, no more one night stands
So one ev'ning you tell 'er
"This is mad! Look at Jen and Brad, and your mom and dad
Liz Burton's many fellers"

She replies with a smirk, "I'm expecting, you jerk!"
You shout, "NO WAY!"
And her catholic folks know some sizable blokes
With crowbars
Your expression is glum, coz you'd rather bull-run
In Pamplonay
Chapel's booked, goose is cooked; like a flounder, you're hooked
Matrimonay!

[PRIESTS]
Wedding dress trimmed with lace is as white as your face
Matrimonay!
[DINO]
Nein! Non! No! Nay!
[GROOMSMEN]
And the bridesmaids she chose: either obese or ho's
Oh, if onl-ay
[DINO]
Yeah, if onl-ay
You had checked, condom was intact, promise you'd retract
Coz you're weak-willed and yeller
[PHOTOGRAPHER]
Really yeller! Yeller feller!
[DINO]
Sure, she'd cry: but you wouldn't dierunning from some guy
Who is built like Godzilla
[BIG GUY]
I'm Godzilla!

[FATHER OF THE BRIDE]
It's her fairytale day, but it's you who must pay
[DINO]
Get a loan, eh?
[BRIDE]
Get a loan! Yay!
[DINO]
The bank manager said your cre-dit's in the red
[BANK MANAGER]
Real tough luck
[DINO]
So a loan from her pop (who's a wiseguy) will stop
Broken bones, say
[WISEGUYS]
From Fat Ton-ay!
[DINO]
See the schmuck in a tux who has run out of luck;
Matrimonay!

[ALL]
Onlythree weeks have passed since your first date; too fast!
[DINO]
Matrimonay??
[ALL]
Matrimonay!!!
[BEST MAN]
Seems the priest's had a few, but he ain't drunk as you
Not by half
[DINO]
When she walks down the aisle, hold that rictus-like smile
It's balonay
[BRIDESMAIDS]
Ooooohhhhh..
[DINO]
Yes indeed, guaranteed, in a year she will plead
Alimonay!
[BRIDE]
Your mo-nay!
[ALL]
Matrimonay!!!!



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Voting Results

 
Pacing: 4.9
How Funny: 4.8
Overall Rating: 4.8

Total Votes: 24

Voting Breakdown

The following represent how many people voted for each category.

    Pacing How Funny Overall Rating
 1   0
 1
 1
 
 2   1
 0
 0
 
 3   0
 0
 0
 
 4   0
 0
 0
 
 5   23
 23
 23
 

User Comments

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AFW - October 03, 2005 - Report this comment
Fantastic and hilarious You've written a whole operetta, here...
Agimorfee - October 03, 2005 - Report this comment
With Frankie as the Best Man, Sammy as the Preacher, and Paul Lynde as the Wedding Planner. 555
Rick C - October 03, 2005 - Report this comment
Wedding dress...$3,000.00, caterer...$8,000.00, this parody...Priceless! Bravo! 555
alvin rhodes - October 03, 2005 - Report this comment
that's a-FUNNY...5s
Kristof Robertson - October 03, 2005 - Report this comment
Thanks a bunch AFW ,Agri and Al (All the As??) and Rick (now known as Arick) ;-)
PMS - October 03, 2005 - Report this comment
It's fives, you bet your "A'.
Red Ant - October 03, 2005 - Report this comment
Hilarious and great pacing. 555
stuart mcarthur - October 03, 2005 - Report this comment
the thing is, there's never a weak line or an opportunity missed with your stuff, Kristof - Kristofesque in all its gloray (end of storay) - 555
Jake A Ralphing (Luke Brattonay) - October 03, 2005 - Report this comment
Simply brilliant, Kristof. Snortle for the 'Nein! Non! No! Nay' line, not to mention every other line. 555
carol - October 03, 2005 - Report this comment
outstanding! 5 stars
Kristof Robertson - October 04, 2005 - Report this comment
A big thanx to PMS, Antman, Stu-boy, Li'l Luke, and cool carol!!!
Phil Alexander - October 05, 2005 - Report this comment
Hilarious stuff, Kristoff - and btw, check your PMs on the messageboard.
Kristof Robertson - October 06, 2005 - Report this comment
Thanks, Phil...and also a belated thanks to Spaff, whose wonderful "That's Annoying" inspired the structure, with the backing singers and additional parts.
Josh 2 - November 09, 2005 - Report this comment
(SOTM) dktos cept for few lines, fuinny though, 5s
Arwen - November 09, 2005 - Report this comment
SOTM...LOL! Lots and lots of funny stuff in here, KR...pretty hard to single anything out...but "get a loan, eh?" made me giggle quite a bit...maybe because anyone who actually gets me to commit is probably going to have to take out two or three. Or six...; )
Agrimorfee - November 10, 2005 - Report this comment
(SOTM) see above
Adagio - November 11, 2005 - Report this comment
(SOTM) Hilarious! Lots of funny lines. 5's
Peter Andersson - November 19, 2005 - Report this comment
SOTM October - And October's the month for Hallowen - Hence a parody about matrimony fits like a ring.
Rick C - November 21, 2005 - Report this comment
(SOTM) Ah, matrimony! See this ring? I put it on 26 years ago. Since then, I've gained so much weight I can't get it past the first knuckle. I'll be buried with this thing on. But, I guess that's OK. It's there to remind me of the woman I married. And it does.....because I can't get her off either!
wannabemustangjockey - November 23, 2005 - Report this comment
SOTM - I can actually imagine this song happening in real life. Scary thought! Great job on this one.
Red Ant - November 24, 2005 - Report this comment
(SOTM) See above, and stretching/re-pronouncing "Matrimonay" and its accompanying rhymes was also hilarious. TMGLTM.
stuart mcarthur - November 25, 2005 - Report this comment
(SOTM) wow, I forgot how good this was - anyway, what I said before with the ubiquitous TMGLTM thrown in (as always with your stuff) - honestly, this is just a laughfest from start to finish (and Fat To-nay cracked me up)
Johnny D - November 26, 2005 - Report this comment
(SOTM) "rictus-like smile" ... nice GOTH touch! ;-)
Tim Mayfield - November 27, 2005 - Report this comment
SOTM - You get a thrill, she gets a chill, you pay the bills, it's been working so well, why change anything? ;-)
Claude Prez - November 28, 2005 - Report this comment
Wow! Fantastic! I'm Godzilla!
Spaff.com - November 28, 2005 - Report this comment
Thanks for the shout-out. But enough about me; let's talk about you. This is fantastic. Expertly crafted, from the dead-on humor to the internal rhymes to the rotating cast of characters. And I third the TMGLTM. I was going to call this one of your best, but with you such praise is meaningless; virtually every one of your parodies is one of your best.
Scathe - November 28, 2005 - Report this comment
(SOTM) This is a comedy jem. 3 5's.
Dee Range - November 29, 2005 - Report this comment
SOTM What Spaff said. Saying this is one of your best somehow belittles others of yours, which is impossible to do. I used to like my parody of this OS, until I read this one. Thanks a lot, you bastard! Another parody that 5's don't do justice...all 10's
Ethan Mawyer - December 01, 2005 - Report this comment
Very well written, and despite all the lines that showed morre writing/rhyming talent, for some reason my favority lite was "I'm godzilla" and that reason is not because Claude seems to think so too
Storm the Albatross - February 10, 2018 - Report this comment
Oh your wedding day dont be getting no cold feet at the last minute and run away the brides father will hunt you down with a shot gun and blood hounds

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