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Song Parodies -> "Dean's Differential Diagnosis"

Original Song Title:

"That's Amore"

Original Performer:

Dean Martin

Parody Song Title:

"Dean's Differential Diagnosis"

Parody Written by:

Alex Watson

The Lyrics

Although this song has been around since the 1950's, I seem to be the only person to have noticed that the lyrics are dangerously misleading for medical students. As a public health service, this version not only corrects the original misinformation, but adds two extra verses, to show how the original subject matter could have been responsibly treated.
When, the, moon hits your eye like a big pizza pie, that's - Glaucoma
When the world seems to shine like you've had too much wine, Haemato-hoho-ma
Hear bells ring ting-a-ling-a-ling, ting-a-ling-a-ling? Then Tinnitus will figure
Hear hearts play tippy-tippy-tay, tippy-tippy-tay, then it's Cardiac Arrhythmia

When, the, stars make you drool it is usually - Pancreatitis
When you dance down the street with your hands and your feet, praise St. Vi-hihi-tus
When you walk in a dream but you know you're awake, this should re-sult,
If seen in the ER, in a swift neurological consult

(Key change)
An, in-curable bipolar syndrome at first presents verbally
As disturbed mental states generate sentimental hy-perbole
Tachycardia, delusion combined with euphoria, one day
Then the next, hypertension, depression, and fugue - that's Amore.

There are risks that you take when you make love to relative strangers
They could just have been let out of jail or present other dangers
Pregnancy, STD’s, even AIDS are the prices you could pay
If you don’t take precautions when you’re out pursuing ‘amore’.
.
My original last line began 'If you don't use a condom...' but this was 'toned down' to avoid unintentionally breaking the guideline about sexual content. © Alex Watson 2016

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Voting Results

 
Pacing: 4.2
How Funny: 4.3
Overall Rating: 4.2

Total Votes: 9

Voting Breakdown

The following represent how many people voted for each category.

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 4   3
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User Comments

Comments are subject to review, and can be removed by the administration of the site at any time and for any reason.

Mike Juergens - November 02, 2016 - Report this comment
Oh very nice! By the way, what do you think might be up with this pain in my left elbow?
Dr Giorgio Coniglio dec - November 02, 2016 - Report this comment
Pacing's a bit bumpy, but great ideas. 454
@Mike - November 02, 2016 - Report this comment
Your bursitis may be acting up. Btw, do you play tennis or golf ;-)

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