Deep down she has a manner close to blue it seems
Way slack, up for the woods, her tongue on soccer teams
There stood the dog, grabbin' at a girth of wood
When caught, my youngest boy screamed "Granny, be good"
She'll never get to Heaven, she's no righteous belle
For she won't pray or behave but she'll be swingin' in Hell

No, no
No, granny no, no
No, granny no, no
No, granny no, no
No, granny no, no
Granny, be good

She likes to hang around the bar where they're dealin' crack
Go sit in town an' pee with her knickers slack
Oh, her agein' ears aren't workin' an' the hair has greyed
Hummin' like a possum that has long decayed
Teasin' passers by, she will drop an' splay
Oh my, how this little granny wants to play

Oh no
No, granny no, no
No, granny no, no
No, granny no, no
No, granny no, no
Granny, be good

The other day she acted out a sordid plan
She went to find the owner of a big ol' gland
Many people wishin' she's gagged an' bound
I swear she is a woman you would love to drown
Met a rich man on them ol' datin' sites
She'll be leavin' for good tonight

Go, go
Go, granny go
Go, go, go, granny go
Go, go, go, granny go
Go, go, go, granny go
Go
Granny no good