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Song Parodies -> "Newark"

Original Song Title:


Original Performer:

Chuck Berry

Parody Song Title:


Parody Written by:

Michael Pacholek

The Lyrics

Another New Jersey native tried this song, setting its location in Atlantic City. Good thing he didn't try Newark, or else he might be having a close encounter with the Passaic River, sleepin' wit' da fishes! At least he got Chuck Berry right, who did it before the hit versions by Lonnie Mack and Johnny Rivers.
(guitar intro)

Verizon operator
get me Newark, New Jersey.
Help me find da guy who tried ta
get in touch wit' me.
He dared not leave da number
but I know who placed da call
'cause my Uncle Frankie used ta smack him
up against da wall.

Help me, information
'cause he messed wit' my Marie.
He's de only guy who'd have such guts
in Newark, New Jersey.
His home is on da Nawth Side
high up on da ridge
just a half a mile from
da Nawth Awlington Bridge.

(guitar break)

Last time I saw Marie
dat bum, he made her cry.
Those, "Help me, Dom" tears on her cheeks
had trickled from her eyes.
I'll pull dat bum apart because
wit' dat, I don't agree.
I'll tear apart his head from neck
in Newark, New Jersey.

Help him, ain't nobody can.
What he did was too bad.
He hopes that I'll miss him
but no such fun he's had.
His I.Q.'s only six points high
so information, please
help me find dat no-good bum
in Newark, New Jersey.

(guitar close)
To be sung in a baritone. Backing vocalists to be all sopranos. If ya know what I mean.

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Voting Results

Pacing: 4.0
How Funny: 4.0
Overall Rating: 4.0

Total Votes: 4

Voting Breakdown

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    Pacing How Funny Overall Rating
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 3   0
 4   0
 5   3

User Comments

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Spaff.Dom - September 24, 2006 - Report this comment
YOUR Marie? Since when is she YOUR Marie?? And tell Frankie he's still a bum.
Mike (the Finger) Pacholek - September 25, 2006 - Report this comment
Dem's fightin' words, pal! (It really would be if the "Frankie" involved were Valli of the Four Seasons and "The Sopranos," who actually grew up on the same street as my mother, but they were 10 years apart and didn't know each other.) Note also that it's Brooklyn, not Newark, that reverses R's and OI's, as in "fightin' woids." I tried a "What's your mob name" website, but various combinations of "Michael," "Mike," "Mikey" (which I hate) and "Mickey" (which only one guy has ever called me, and I ain't seen him in 20 years) turned up some really dumb ones, so I came up with one of my own. But when I typed in the name "Bernard Pacholek," it came out "The Enforcer." How come my evil twin, who doesn't even really exist, got a better name?
alvin rhodes - September 25, 2006 - Report this comment
great job...bodda-bing !

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