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Song Parodies -> "Think I'll Kill Lots"

Original Song Title:

"Jingle Bell Rock"

Original Performer:

Bobby Helms

Parody Song Title:

"Think I'll Kill Lots"

Parody Written by:

Claude Prez

The Lyrics

Think I’ll kill, think I’ll kill, think I’ll kill lots
Think I’ll kill teens and wink at their screams
Drinking, hijinking, and sexing and drugs
Means it’s time to remove some lungs

Think I’ll kill, think I’ll kill, think I’ll kill lots
Jocks and the nerds but blondie dies first
The nice guy, will slice die, I’ll get the whole cast
With the virgin last!

What a fab time for a stab crime
So don’t say “be right back”
And your main flaw is my chainsaw
Is chasin’ you ‘round the cul de sac

Giddy up, bimbo whore, pick up the pace
Time to connect the dots
Minx and a mangle with a strangling chase
Now I think I’ll kill
Never blink, I’ll kill
Now I think I’ll kill lots!

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Original Song: 
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Voting Results

Pacing: 2.6
How Funny: 2.6
Overall Rating: 2.6

Total Votes: 14

Voting Breakdown

The following represent how many people voted for each category.

    Pacing How Funny Overall Rating
 1   8
 2   0
 3   1
 4   0
 5   5

User Comments

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Matthias - November 09, 2017 - Report this comment
Brilliant! This was a fantastic tribute to Scream and really all horror slashers but reminded me mostly of Scream because of the "Be right back" line. Thanks for joining me!
Claude Prez - November 09, 2017 - Report this comment
Hey thanks! Glad you liked it -- yeah, the only horror movies I actually like are the self-aware ones like Scream and Cabin in the Woods. Great idea though; this was really fun. And I agree about my other one today; I know it didn't really fit but I just sort of went where it took me. Now the challenge is to stop thinking of more Halloween carols instead of tackling that OWN song today. Wish me luck; I'll be right back
Jeff Reuben - November 09, 2017 - Report this comment
I was going to say Matthias will be all over this! Well done, onto Thanksgiving!
Agrimorfee - November 09, 2017 - Report this comment
Claude, be careful, given recent events (not relevant or funny of course, but) you might just end up on some higher authority's watch list with that kind of writing!
stinkbug - November 09, 2017 - Report this comment
A random violence parody not pointing to any particular type of horror fiend? What gives? You could have done: the Shape, Freddy, Jason, Chrome Skull, Jigsaw, or a wide range of other psychotics. This is disappointing :-(
Jonathan - November 09, 2017 - Report this comment
so good, it's scary! 5s
Matthias - November 09, 2017 - Report this comment
@stinkbug: Pretty sure this is a "Scream" parody. It's subtle but "blondie dies first" is Drew Barrymore (I'm pretty sure) + So don’t say “be right back” is obvious a "Scream" reference + Time to connect the dots ("Scream" is a murder mystery)... The only thing that throws me off is the line about using a chainsaw because Ghostface only uses a knife... Well, A garage door in one scene but otherwise always a knife.
Claude Prez - November 09, 2017 - Report this comment
Thanks, Jeff, Agrimorfee and Jonathan! “stink bug” — don’t think I’ve seen you around here before. Do you write parodies yourself, or do you just pop by to offer helpful criticism in a random manner? I only ask because I’d probably value your input if I had some sort of context for it. As it is, you just look like a jealous parody author we all know, posing as an anonymous troll. Thought you might like to know that.
Claude Prez - November 09, 2017 - Report this comment
Sorry Matthias, didn't see your comment before -- you're half right about this being a "Scream" parody; the idea is it's more of a sendup of the genre in the same way that "Scream" and "Cabin in the Woods" was.

But if "stinkbug" is still around, nothing -- and I mean nothing -- would make me happier than seeing his revised version of this in tomorrow's New Entries. Come on man, show me how it's done

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