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Song Parodies -> "Coq Au Vin Lewinsky Hummus Clams™!"
Original Song Title:
"Walking In A Winter Wonderland"
Original Performer:
Bing Crosby, Dean Martin, etc
Parody Song Title:
"Coq Au Vin Lewinsky Hummus Clams™!"
Parody Written by:
TJC
The Lyrics
The restaurant business can be brutal!
Sometimes anxious owners get--how shall I phrase it... 'overly creative'?
~
Gray jells cling -- to each serving
Ladled plate's -- Ewww, unnerving!
It's opening night
But something ain't right:
Coq Au Vin Lewinsky Hummus Clams™!
Passed away -- the food writer
Medics say -- "Got a biter!"
I'm guessin' they'll bar
My Michelin star
Chalk it up to Coq'y Hummus Clams™!
In this restaurant I've sunk a fortune
'Word-of-mouth' is key--or so I've found
Thus I reasoned, "Nothin' sells like 'whore poon'!"
in HINDsight Naughty Bi-valve'd Coq's unsound!
Later on -- at the courthouse
Catered prawns -- from my Torte Haus™
'De-briefed' the whole place
They blew out my case
Yockin' judge 'evacuated' stands!
In this business 'word-of-mouth' is crucial
Little things'll thwart the best laid plans
Customers (surviving) 'word' was 'douchial'
Perhaps our hummus'd coqs got out of hand?
Now I sell -- 'Nam Falafel™
From a cart -- damn, they're awful!
This Asian-Greek mange
Is *truly* 'free-range'
ROCKin' Ho-Chi-Gyros™ at my stand!
And since my sous chef's are rats
I brought some big vats--
Yockin' bins for chunder's close at hand!
~
Gray jells cling -- to each serving
Ladled plate's -- Ewww, unnerving!
It's opening night
But something ain't right:
Coq Au Vin Lewinsky Hummus Clams™!
Passed away -- the food writer
Medics say -- "Got a biter!"
I'm guessin' they'll bar
My Michelin star
Chalk it up to Coq'y Hummus Clams™!
In this restaurant I've sunk a fortune
'Word-of-mouth' is key--or so I've found
Thus I reasoned, "Nothin' sells like 'whore poon'!"
in HINDsight Naughty Bi-valve'd Coq's unsound!
Later on -- at the courthouse
Catered prawns -- from my Torte Haus™
'De-briefed' the whole place
They blew out my case
Yockin' judge 'evacuated' stands!
In this business 'word-of-mouth' is crucial
Little things'll thwart the best laid plans
Customers (surviving) 'word' was 'douchial'
Perhaps our hummus'd coqs got out of hand?
Now I sell -- 'Nam Falafel™
From a cart -- damn, they're awful!
This Asian-Greek mange
Is *truly* 'free-range'
ROCKin' Ho-Chi-Gyros™ at my stand!
And since my sous chef's are rats
I brought some big vats--
Yockin' bins for chunder's close at hand!
~
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User Comments
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I was wondering how Lewinsky was in this, and if it had to do with Monica. Funny song!
5-5-5 stars for this high cuisine! ;D
Uuum, I'll just have a glass of water and 555 Alka-Seltzers.
Very delectable parody and echo OMR's comment! Here's 555 a la carte!
Classy dinner..How much is the Bill?
A culinary classic served with a twist of rhyme!!!...555!!!
Thanks guys... Monica and Hanta Claus are coming to town!
As long as there's no cheese...
Yet another "hair 'n the Torte Haus™" fable....
I tried to picture it all, but as the Temptations said, "It was just my invagination ... running away with me..."
Sets a new high/low in over-the-top and under-the-bottom word-play, and other-kinds-of-play. Title switch alone gets 555 stars in the Michelin guide -- that's enough to get you re-tired!
I tried to picture it all, but as the Temptations said, "It was just my invagination ... running away with me..."
Sets a new high/low in over-the-top and under-the-bottom word-play, and other-kinds-of-play. Title switch alone gets 555 stars in the Michelin guide -- that's enough to get you re-tired!
Ooooh! Clever nom de hare!
And thanks for the sup-whore't, sir!
BTW, I know this great new eatery we could try...
And thanks for the sup-whore't, sir!
BTW, I know this great new eatery we could try...
..... actually, credit for that suggestion goes to McKludge:
http://www.amiright.com/parody/70s/eagles70.shtml
Shoulda' listened -- we'd be rich by now. :)
http://www.amiright.com/parody/70s/eagles70.shtml
Shoulda' listened -- we'd be rich by now. :)
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