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Song Parodies -> "I'm Dreading This Year's Lite Christmas"
Original Song Title:
"White Christmas"
(MP3)Original Performer:
Bing Crosby
Parody Song Title:
"I'm Dreading This Year's Lite Christmas"
Parody Written by:
Tim Mayfield
The Lyrics
The elves are munching on rich ice cream
They eat sweet snacks all day
And Santa has come to say
The deer are all gorged on hay
But I will tell you for what it's worth
They're all worried about my girth
I'm dreading this year's lite Christmas
Not like the ones I used to know
Where the sweets are missing
This party's christened
Ensure mixed with mistletoe
I'm fuming over lite Christmas
So what if my suit fits too tight
Or the sleigh's not feeling too light
I say starving Santa Claus ain't right
I'm scheming an un-lite Christmas
I'm stashing Hostess ho-ho-hos
Keep the Mrs. guessing
Or be regretting
She'll find arrows for those bows
I'm hungry from this lite Christmas
It's not the season we should fight
But if folks ain't aiding my plight
There'll be no nice presents left tonight
And if you'd help Santa, I might
Leave some Christmas Day North Pole invites
(spoken)
Ho, Ho, Ho!
Thanks Kids!
Glad you could help Santa.
Now let's see, there's candy canes, brownies,
pie, cake, cookies, egg nog, jello.. Jello?
Jello is NOT a Christmas snack.
Who left the jello?
You're going on my naughty list.
They eat sweet snacks all day
And Santa has come to say
The deer are all gorged on hay
But I will tell you for what it's worth
They're all worried about my girth
I'm dreading this year's lite Christmas
Not like the ones I used to know
Where the sweets are missing
This party's christened
Ensure mixed with mistletoe
I'm fuming over lite Christmas
So what if my suit fits too tight
Or the sleigh's not feeling too light
I say starving Santa Claus ain't right
I'm scheming an un-lite Christmas
I'm stashing Hostess ho-ho-hos
Keep the Mrs. guessing
Or be regretting
She'll find arrows for those bows
I'm hungry from this lite Christmas
It's not the season we should fight
But if folks ain't aiding my plight
There'll be no nice presents left tonight
And if you'd help Santa, I might
Leave some Christmas Day North Pole invites
(spoken)
Ho, Ho, Ho!
Thanks Kids!
Glad you could help Santa.
Now let's see, there's candy canes, brownies,
pie, cake, cookies, egg nog, jello.. Jello?
Jello is NOT a Christmas snack.
Who left the jello?
You're going on my naughty list.
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Voting Results
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Voting Breakdown
The following represent how many people voted for each category.
| Pacing | How Funny | Overall Rating | |||||||||
| 1 | 0 | 0 | 0 | ||||||||
| 2 | 0 | 0 | 0 | ||||||||
| 3 | 0 | 0 | 0 | ||||||||
| 4 | 1 | 0 | 0 | ||||||||
| 5 | 16 | 17 | 17 |
User Comments
Comments are subject to review, and can be removed by the administration of the site at any time and for any reason.
I can't bitch about this one; you know Russell Stover makes some pretty good sugar free stuff....
Great concept! Really liked the "arrows for those bows" line.
555, ho ho ho. =)
my vote ?...5 calories
Great stuff here Tim. Agreed on the Jello part too. 555 calories.
diets are banned at Xmas-time, Tim - look at Santa - LOL - 555
Especially liked, "She'll find arrows for those bows". Good one, Tim. 555
Cute stuff. Tim 5's. Royce, you have given me a gross idea about a parody...thanks
Could be worse, could be a vegan Christmas. They don't even allow reindeer on the roof. (Isn't that a Lovin' Spoonful song? "You and me and reindeer on the roof...")
(SOTM06) Already commented and voted. But, as I saw on tv.......
"Lady of the evening !, lady of the evening !, lady of the evening!" the PC version of "Ho!, ho!, ho!
"Lady of the evening !, lady of the evening !, lady of the evening!" the PC version of "Ho!, ho!, ho!
[SOTM] Hate the original...So...Zzz...Boring...But, you did this parody very well. It was very funny, pacing was perfect, (Make sure you don't give anything to the jerk who gave you a 4 for pacing) and overall, it was one of the funniest Christmas parodies I've read. 555.
[SOTM] ZzZzZZZzzzzz.......Wha? Sorry, I fell asleep listenig to TOS. You're right S.P. Very funny.
Low-Fat Fives
(SOTM) See above, and "Ensure mixed with mistletoe" was a great line along with several others.
(SOTM) But there's always room for jello. 555
(SOTM) What's wrong with Jell-O? If it's good enough for Bill Cosby then it's good enough for Santa! Just eat the green and red Jell-O if you're picky.
"Hostess ho ho hos" was my fave, along with the Jell-o bit. Well done.
(SOTM) Now I like "Ensure mixed with mistletoe" as well as the line I previously mentioned.
The fact that Santa has lived so long with his excess weight and crappy diet - and only one day a year of physical activity - should be an inspiration to us all. More kudos, Tim, on the Ensure bit, the Hostess bit, and the Jell-o bit. Tasty stuff.
SOTM - To spin on Spaff's comment: I'm not sure he works only one day a year, naughty-nice surveillance is hard work, and getting people to buy that he and his staff has got to do it, that's some exit strategy if you ask me.
Thanks Royce, Rex, Stephen, alvin, Red, stuart, Rick, Adagio, Michael, Silver, bob, Matthias, wannabe, Claude, Spaff and Peter. The past year has been fun.
For the record: Jello is not a Christmas snack because they force it on you in the hospital. If they forced brownies and pie on recovering patients, don't you think hospitals would be more Christmasy? I know I'd be more jolly!
For the record: Jello is not a Christmas snack because they force it on you in the hospital. If they forced brownies and pie on recovering patients, don't you think hospitals would be more Christmasy? I know I'd be more jolly!
(SOTM) - see above - I'm tipping that the resentment that a Lite Xmas would stir in Santa would end up swelling his naughty list by a dozen or more exercise books Tim - it just aint the Xmas spirit
(SOTM) Loved it! 555!
(SOTM) Lite Christmas? Bah Humbug! This was a classy effort, Tim. 555
(SOTM) I'm impressed by the sheer insulince, er, I mean, insolence, of this parody!
Seems like I've voted on this one already, but omitted to comment... I wholeheartedly (and full-fattedly) agree with the sentiment, Tim.
(SOTM) It's a classic, 555's
SOTM: Loved it, I ate this up!
(SOTM) Brilliant, brilliant, 5s
(SOTM) Very funny, even though it's a sad song.
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