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Song Parodies -> "It's Too Early to Look a Lot Like Christmas"

Original Song Title:

"It's Beginning to Look a Lot Like Christmas"

 (MP3)
Original Performer:

Bing Crosby

Parody Song Title:

"It's Too Early to Look a Lot Like Christmas"

Parody Written by:

Joe the Crazy Conch

The Lyrics

Well, friends, it is that time of year again. With Halloween in the rear-view mirror and Thanksgiving a few short weeks away, the phenomenon of Christmas Creep is upon us. Here's how I feel about retailers trying to push the holiday season earlier every year. (PS: The highways mentioned in the song, Routes 4 and 17, pass through New Jersey’s most congested retail town of Paramus).
It's too early to look a lot like Christmas
Everywhere you go
Take a drive down Route 17
It’s decked out to the extreme
With six-foot inflatable Santas and men of snow
It's too early to look a lot like Christmas
From High Point to the Shore
And the ugliest sight to see
Is the traffic that will be
Backed up on Route 4

A bunch of Ace Hardware ads are aimed at the dads
TJ Maxx is for Mom and her friends
While girls need those jeans to shoot Snapchat scenes
And boys shoot those video men
And I'm ticked off, ’cause NASCAR’s playoffs
Have yet to reach their end

It's too early to look a lot like Christmas
Everywhere you go

There's a tree in the Hyatt Hotel, a few in Walmart as well
With LED lights that flicker just for show
It's too early to look a lot like Christmas
But the sales are underway
And the kids who work in retail
Will begin to weep and wail, out of sheer dismay

It's too early to look a lot like Christmas
From High Point to the Shore
And the nastiest sight to see, is the traffic that will be
Backed up on Route 4
I can't take it anymore

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Voting Results

 
Pacing: 5.0
How Funny: 5.0
Overall Rating: 5.0

Total Votes: 5

Voting Breakdown

The following represent how many people voted for each category.

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User Comments

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annie gardner - November 02, 2021 - Report this comment
I cant take it any more either. Stuff up before Halloween where I work. Maybe this is why I don't like Christmas
Jonathan - November 02, 2021 - Report this comment
well done parody, although I can't say I mind the Christmas decor going up too much. 5s
Michael Pacholek - November 03, 2021 - Report this comment
I wish I'd thought of this one. Wait a minute: I did, all the way back in 2006. I even mentioned Route 4! http://www.amiright.com/parody/misc/perrycomo21.shtml
monstermaster13 - November 05, 2021 - Report this comment
I deal with a roommate who watches Christmas movies and listens to Christmas songs even before November and I can totally relate.
Connor Banjoper - September 24, 2022 - Report this comment
It is NEVER too early to start celebrating Christmas!
Lucas Berenstein - September 25, 2022 - Report this comment
Lyrics: "And the kids who work in retail will begin to weep and wail, out of sheer dismay." Retail workers who actually like celebrating Christmas early: "Are we a joke to you?"
Nappy Lamare 2024 - September 30, 2022 - Report this comment
Enjoy the 2022 holiday advertising season! 🎄🎄🎄🎄🎄🎄

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