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Song Parodies -> "Senseless Sports Fan"

Original Song Title:

"Headless Horseman"

Original Performer:

Bing Crosby

Parody Song Title:

"Senseless Sports Fan"

Parody Written by:


The Lyrics

This is for Peter Andersson's ONE WEEK NOTICE challenge (Week 7) hosted once again by Matthias! Happy Halloween Amirighters! (I think there were plenty of Clevelanders who were just like this character last night... What inspired this idea was a classic episode of South Park where Randy Marsh gets wasted at little league games and fights all the tough guy fathers there...)
Drunk in the crowd
He's no sophisticate
His rage is amplified and he's irrate
Strung out on Coors Lite
Engrossed at Grands Prix
Until his driver is dead-last in the lead
You've all been warned about this guy
Soccer gangs think that he's high

[Woman #1]: Blood goes splat
[Woman #2]: He swings his fist
[Sports Team Mascot]: This douche is always buzzed and pissed

Whoa... This yellin' mad drunkard
Is a spiteful blight
He'll ruin your fun while on moonshine

When this kook's in your bleachers you should flee
Hear him hiccup and hear him scream
Roasts the fans
For cold beer he thirsts
He's the Senseless Sports Fan
Watch him curse!

Not bright
He will fight and knock out your lights!

With his belt he's floggin'
Punks who chant
His team their doggin'
Lost his pants
Screamin' when his star's dethroned
His top has blown, He'll break your bones!

Pulls hair
Throws chairs this guy's so stoned!

This is no fluke; Watch him puke and burp
[Crowd]: (His mind's so dim when he's sloshed it's worse)
He'll glare causing conflicts in the stands
[Crowd]: (Mocks the ump after chugging more cans!)

He gets so wired and he's caught by cops
Some money's spent; He's back to box
Players slide, He drained his beer
His face is red when his rivals cheer

[Women]: (We'll be soaked with spittle, He's such a pig)
[Men]: (His stomach jiggles, Gross and big)
Won't touch Sprite, He's so brain-dead
[Crowd]: (The Senseless Sports Fan's quite inbred!)

Blames the shortstop for that dude who was dropped
His team's sucking: Judo chops he'll pop
[Crowd]: (That hick hops to flatten out a fan!)

Football season he'll be back again!

Swear words he'll shout: This male will blow
Just like a nuke, As crushed cans are thrown
Now it takes a mob to stop his right-hook
You'll ache when that blitz made his goose cooked
For once he's sauced he'll twitch and bend...

[Crowd]: (Goalpost is viewed, His glower's sensed!)

When... This prick is smiling you'll be fine
But that scrimmage might blow his mind
A touchdown makes that fellow flare
His team has zilch!
He'll pound! You're snared!

Bring out the cops cause he's blowing his top!
He's out pushing all the snobs and slobs!
His brain's fried and he's big as a van!
Necks he's squeezin' as a SENSELESS FAN!!!!!

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Matches Pace of
Original Song: 
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Voting Results

Pacing: 3.9
How Funny: 3.9
Overall Rating: 3.9

Total Votes: 9

Voting Breakdown

The following represent how many people voted for each category.

    Pacing How Funny Overall Rating
 1   1
 2   1
 3   1
 4   1
 5   5

User Comments

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Agrimorfee - October 13, 2017 - Report this comment
Pure poetry.
Peter Andersson - October 13, 2017 - Report this comment
You managed to keep the different voices/viewpoints of the original, no small feat on this rather tricky old hit (pun soooo intended!) :-)
Agrimorfee - October 17, 2018 - Report this comment
(Artistry) this round's winner almost by default.
bobpiecheese - October 30, 2018 - Report this comment
(Artistry) I've never even watched a sports ball but I know this particular breed of douche...I've heard they're particularly common in Philly. 555 foam #1 hands!

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