Actually, I have been in just such a pinch. 5s!

Thanks Onslaught, I think we've all been there before, especially in urban areas in the early am. I had to use the jail one time while waiting for an office to open at 8 am! I still had to leave my backpack and go through several controls just to take a Number 2 but the police understood. Bit embarrassed because it was two female deputies I had to explain to. My advice for anyone old or disabled- never pass up a public restroom when available. Saves embarrassing situations and also saves on toilet paper consumption, soap, etc...

Crapbox = Portaloo? The trick to still go directly in the morning as you get older (and believe me, because I sometimes get my daily jog in before breakfast I've had to deal with this problem same as if it happened on the way to work) is to set the alarm 90 minutes early, eat a little something (a couple of walnuts work great for yours truly) and quickly go back to sleep. The eat activates the whole GI-system from top to bottom and 90 minutes later a quick cup of coffee rushes the process, you're empty before you head out. Occasionally, but not often, I'm not able to go back to sleep for the remaining 90 minutes - but that's not a problem - I get an extra 90 minutes to read a book (or work on a parody).

And yet Onslaught, even tho' you were once caught short, bowel evacuation-wise, you still had enough of a sense of humor to squeeze out a pun. You'll make a real splash on this thread with that kind of comic sensibility, Son ;-D

I like puns they're...amusing.

probably TMI here but I too know the feeling the first thing you think is... "ah crap!" literally! 5's

Thanks all!