When Jack Benny played, the noise he made
Was like some lethal harpoon.
What song was like an air raid?
That cornball tune. (1)
Tiny Tim would sing. Our ears would sting.
The tulips were not immune.
What was that sappy old thing?
His cornball tune. (2)

A dreadful performance - requires a lame song.
So thank Tin Pan Alley.
Their tally is quite impressive.

Just recall George Burns, whose vocal turns
Could make us howl at the moon.
A smart showman never spurns
A cornball tune. (3)

Great songs are immortal. Those no one can wrong.
But one with less merit?
Compare it to sounds digestive.

Don't forget Spike Jones, who picked the bones
Of bad songs in each lampoon.
He blew them up with trombones,
Each cornball tune. (4)