It's lonely up in Heaven
There's no one there but Fred
All the rest went straight to Hell
As soon as they were dead

Coretta Scott and Reagan
Dear old Gerald Ford
It may be hot where they wound up
But at least they won't be bored

The Boston Pops, Metallica
The cast of Riverdance
A singer name of Marvin Gaye
(He never had a chance)

There's Milton Berle, Flip Wilson
And of course, they're dressed in drag
But who'd have guessed Bill Clinton
Was just a closet fag?

And Hillary, a lesbian?
As far as Fred can tell
But any place that she shows up
Is certain to be Hell

Pope John Paul and Buck O'Neil
Anne Frank and Princess Di
All share a lake of brimstone
With that Adolf Hitler guy

Saddam is here, and Castro
That's really no surprise
But Billy Graham has a room reserved
The minute that he dies

Theresa of Calcutta's works
Don't count for much down here
To us she may have been a Saint,
To Fred, another queer

So I pray, Oh Lord, on Judgement Day
May I escape their fate
Please grant me opportunities
To prove that I am straight