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Song Parodies -> "The Customer Is Not Always Right"

Original Song Title:

"I Apologize"

Original Performer:

Billy Eckstine

Parody Song Title:

"The Customer Is Not Always Right"

Parody Written by:


The Lyrics

It hurt to spell "apologise" like that, but that's the official title. Anyway, this parody was inspired by this hilarious website.
Man, my job is shite, sure the pay's alright
Customers are nice, well, mostly
Now and then some utter nutcase
Comes and starts a fight

No discount to claim, say that I'm to blame
I think they're insane, 'cause clearly
All the terms are written here, sir
Now pay the full price

Don't realise they've been a total fool
They keep making more demands
Like compensation 'cause they were confused
Basically, they act like an ass

Says that I'm the fool, asks for coupons too
Manager comes through and frees me
Tells the crazy customer that
They're not always right

Most ev'ry time they act a total douche
They will not make amends
They think they're in the right, that isn't true
I wonder if they have real friends

I'll tell you a fact, this job may be crap
I won't leave like that, 'cause really
All these morons make me laugh, so
This job is alright
I've never had a retail job, but if I do, I actually hope to meet a stupid customer. Mainly to see how good my memory is so that I can post the ensuing retardedness on the website I plugged in the opening. Or I could ask to look at security footage or something.

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Original Song: 
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Voting Results

Pacing: 5.0
How Funny: 5.0
Overall Rating: 5.0

Total Votes: 5

Voting Breakdown

The following represent how many people voted for each category.

    Pacing How Funny Overall Rating
 1   0
 2   0
 3   0
 4   0
 5   5

User Comments

Comments are subject to review, and can be removed by the administration of the site at any time and for any reason.

Abbott Skelding - November 11, 2011 - Report this comment
I work at a pizza place on a college campus...needless to say, I've had a few customers like this! Nice work!
Matthias - November 12, 2011 - Report this comment
Not bad I would have liked to see some examples of when the customer is being a douche bag because from what you wrote they seem like average customers asking for refunds, and getting coupons. I would have liked you to reference something like the item doesn't scan so the punk says "Must be Free" or something along those lines.
bobpiecheese - November 12, 2011 - Report this comment
^ The customer was trying to claim a discount that had actually expired. When this was explained to them, they decided it was the cashier's fault and had a hissy-fit, demanding refunds and free coupons and stuff as compensation for their mistake. Though I guess I could've explained that a bit better.
Porfle Popnecker - November 12, 2011 - Report this comment
Nice job! I recently had a checker screw up at Wal-Mart and it took several people over half an hour to fix it (including re-ringing my whole cart full of groceries). But I was so patient and understanding through the whole thing that they gave me a $20.00 gift card as a reward. You catch more flies with honey!
Christie Marie M - November 20, 2011 - Report this comment
(Ages) This reminds me of a job at Shop Rite, which I'm glad to leave that place. That job you described was nothing like the job I'm working, which is a telemarketer. I talk to most librarians on the phone and they give me crap. If I could find certain customers/librarians who preview, I'd be lucky. But yes, customers are real pains and they could get on your back and adding insult to injury, the boss makes the situation a whole lot worse. At my job, for my bosses, the customer is not always right. I'm even tempted to offer free shipping on books to customers I speak with on the phone, but it's against work policy. Some of the things I wish I could satisfy the customers about. Great job on the parody, though. Enjoyed it lots.
Andria - November 23, 2011 - Report this comment
(Ages 2011, Round 4) I know all about these people from working in buy-and-sell or pawn shops in bad neighborhoods, usually they are belligerent about the prices we offer them when we buy from them or have some kind of beef with the store policies or merchandise. It's still better than an armed robbery or the gun specialist accidentally shooting himself (both of which actually happened) Great work here, and 5s.
Blaydeman - November 24, 2011 - Report this comment
(AofA) So not true, but really funny!
D-Mon - November 24, 2011 - Report this comment
(AofA) Funny, funny, funny. And I'm always right ;)
Arwen - November 28, 2011 - Report this comment
Ages...I HATE ornery I liked this. :)

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