Making fun of music, one song at a time. Since the year 2000.
Check out the two amIright misheard lyrics books including one book devoted to misheard lyrics of the 1980s.
(Toggle Right Side Navigation)

Song Parodies -> "Pair For My Hand"

Original Song Title:

"Therefore I Am"

Original Performer:

Billie Eilish

Parody Song Title:

"Pair For My Hand"

Parody Written by:

the_conqueror_of_parodies

The Lyrics

Part of my "Strawberry Ice Cream" self-challenge. The perils of playing poker poorly. P-word.
At my wit's end, my luck's gone to crap
It's not too much to ask for a pair for my hand
Tonight can't end with me losin' cash
Why can't the dealer grant a damn pair for my hand?

Fold? Ain't no way that that's how I'll go down, haha
I'll keep in the game until I'm out
Then I'll just replay 'til my debt's down
Just want one more five, not a nine in the next deal
My plan won't work if you jerk me, I feel, ha
Just isn't ideal
Sure, it's less fun for those who end up with less
But I'm the protagonist for now, so

At my wit's end 'cause my cards are crap
All that I wanna have is a pair for my hand
Can't let this end all incomplete, damn
Come on, dealer, just pass me a pair for my hand

Royal flush is way outta range, I don't have the stuff for a nice straight line
I don't see a full house, but I'm on a bluff that can't fall, so my
Arsenal, arsenal, arsenal's more held in the brain, psychological (fold, you bastards)
Little screwed, little screwed, little screwed if I make my play and there's jack to use
Can't have jack-all but a win with the lowest
Will make 'em all super pissed, spittin' foam

Can't reach that end with this crap I have
Don't want these mice and rats, want a pair for my hand
Fault's on my end for this stupid plan
But it still makes me mad, need a pair for my hand

Not sorry, ha
For my plan to wreck your game
Not sorry
Told you that I hate this game

Will we stay friends? Don't care if I crash
And fail to win your grands (well, sorta, not that high) with one pair in my hand (my hand)
Sure we'll be friends (friends), know you'll love the plan (you'll love it)
Pay you back for your crap with one pair in my hand

Well that went places I wasn't expecting. Kinda like Billie Eilish, really.

Your Vote & Comment Counts

The parody authors spend a lot of time writing parodies for the website and they appreciate feedback in the form of votes and comments. Please take some time to leave a comment below about this parody.

Place Your Vote

 LittleLots
Matches Pace of
Original Song: 
How Funny: 
Overall Score: 



In order for your vote to count, you need to hit the 'Place Your Vote' button.
 

Voting Results

 
Pacing: 4.8
How Funny: 4.8
Overall Rating: 4.8

Total Votes: 15

Voting Breakdown

The following represent how many people voted for each category.

    Pacing How Funny Overall Rating
 1   0
 0
 0
 
 2   0
 0
 0
 
 3   1
 1
 1
 
 4   1
 1
 1
 
 5   13
 13
 13
 

User Comments

Comments are subject to review, and can be removed by the administration of the site at any time and for any reason.

The author of the parody has authorized comments, and wants YOUR feedback.

Link To This Page

The address of this page is: http://www.amiright.com/parody/misc/billieeilish1.shtml For help, see the examples of how to link to this page.

This is view # 399