Most of us came here for fun (came here for fun)
It feels like you wanna say you won (each night, you play to say "I won!", buddy)
That's not how D&D's done (last time I checked), hey (the last I checked)
At least when not played by tools and such (we're not all murderhobos, true stuff)
There's more to the mission than loot acquisition
And grindin' stats higher, can I get that through to you (oh, na, na, na, na, na, na)?
Dude, ev'ryone thinks that you're a prick (ev'ryone here thinks you're a dick)
But the lesson still fails to stick (a high armour-class skull), oh-ooh-whoa-oh-oh-oh (yeah-eah-eah-eah)

You love rollin' the dice in fights
Not down time (hate down time), yeah
Always act so pissy when they talk down a fight, not what you like
Had enough of what you like, change of pace should be fine
Don't have to swing swords (ooh-ooh-ooh) at the evil lord
All those skills on your page (ooh)? Not space-filler, dork (ooh)
There's more than one way to have fun
Your one-track mind's a pain in our butts, not just about damage dice

Here to play a role, skimped on that part, bud (messed it up)
Past is a blank scroll, your guy's here for what (screwed it up)? Yeah
Roll up, roll up (roll up, roll up) some guff, some guff (some guff, some guff), oh
Cliché and bland? Please, I'll eat it up
'Cause otherwise, shit's thin (the backstory for your guy's thin)
You adventure for no reason (I need more than "because", yeah-eah-eah-eah)
I hate to be dissin' skills at comprehension
Still have to enquire: what's RPG stand for, dude?

It's not all about fights (stab a bunch, stab a bunch), that's right
Storytime (epic time), yeah
Focus isn't credit for who got the last slice (stab a bunch, stab a bunch), no braggin' rights
All in the roll of the dice, don't min-max that goodbye
Want the highest plus (ooh-ooh-ooh) when you aim to gut
Ev'ry NPC, mate (ooh), really has to stop (ooh)
The whole point here is to have fun
Might say you are, that might be true but the rest of us? Not fine

I'm just wantin' you to drop it, all this "gotta kill it!" nonsense
There's way more than endless fightin', least one actin' major prob'bly
Get excited, hoot 'n' holler when an uncanny twist unfolds
Or someone cracks a joke on their bad luck with rolls
Better than your rage (pitch a giant rage, it ain't right)
Ho-ooh, yikes (I don't like your rage at your dice)
Like the flaws in what we create (ooh-ooh-ooh, yeah-eah, true)
You just buff it, buff it, buff it, buff it, buddy
I don't love it, love it, love it, it's true, buddy (oh-oh, buddy)
It ain't fair that your guy just takes lives, lots of lives

Yeah-eah-eah-eah (just takes lives)
Hard truth (hardest truth)
Should pack all your stuff up, huh (pack your stuff up)
Hard truth (hardest truth, hard truth)
For this game, you're not cut, huh (not cut out)
Hard truth (hardest truth)
All want you to shut up, huh (come on, shut up, yeah)
Hard truth (hardest truth, truth)

Want all your stuff optimised, that's nice (whoo, whoo)
But I find (yeah) that you're stuck, that you're stuck, that you're stuck (static-ass development, your story's so dry)
Wanna hit so hard (dry), dragons will see stars (dry)
But all you do is grate (dry) on my last nerve, stop (save it for the one-shots)
Ooh-ooh-ooh (yeah), either roll with the dice (huh)
Or goodbye (uh), suck it up, suck it up