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Song Parodies -> "Losin' Closely"

Original Song Title:


Original Performer:

BENEE ft. Gus Dapperton

Parody Song Title:

"Losin' Closely"

Parody Written by:


The Lyrics

When you get beaten in a race by the narrowest of margins, that can really get under your skin...just be sure to express it healthier than this guy.
Didn't win that one, means I'm the loser
Not gonna shiv ya, not a rage quitter
But I'll still be thinkin', likely while drinkin'
About what could've been, I failed closely, mmh, ah, yeah

For the longest time, we were even
Back and forth, was madness, thought that I could beat it
Sure I wasn't slackin', that's what you were seemin'
But I lost, goddamn it (hmhmhm, ooh-ooh-ooh-ooh-ooh-ooh)
All of that work, all those lift jerks
Made my ass hurt (ooh-ooh-ooh-ooh-ooh-ooh)
Ev'ry tight bend, ev'ry mad twist
Made this sad thing (aarghh, whoo!)

I know I ballsed up, became the loser
But I'll still grill ya 'cause my brain flickers
I just can't stop thinkin', damn photo finish
That gave your nose the win, I lost closely, mmh, ah, yeah
La-la-la-la, la-la-la-la
Closely, such a close-ass win
La-la-la-la, la-la-la-la
Closely (ah), losin' closely

Where was your advantage lyin'?
That's all that I'm thinkin' about in my mind now
What foods were you eatin'? I ditched all the fat subs
And passed on all the snack nuts (closely, ah-ah) (hmhmhm)
Most times that works, it's a big swerve (la-la-la-la-la-la-la-la-la)
To learn that, hurts (la-la-la-la-la-la-la-la-la-la)
I don't like this, I feel flattened (la-la-la-la-la-la-la-la-la)
"Still, not last"? Zip (your lips, ah-ah) (ooh-ooh-ooh-ooh-ooh-ooh)

You can just shut up (shut up), I'm still the loser (loser)
No-one gives two shits (two shits) 'bout who came second (second) (ooh-ooh-ooh-ooh-ooh-ooh)
So answer my questions (questions) 'bout how you're winnin' (winnin')
By barely half an inch (barely half an inch), beat me closely, mmh, ah, yeah
La-la-la-la (whoo), la-la-la-la (la-la-la)
Closely, really close-ass win
La-la-la-la (where we goin'), la-la-la-la (where we goin')
Closely (eh, oh), losin' closely (ooh-ooh-ooh-ooh-ooh-ooh)

Of course I'm askin' this to help myself, I cannot lie (ooh-ooh-ooh-ooh-ooh-ooh)
But you don't have to cause me hell bein' a sore-ass winner, bud
Give all your tips up, t-t-tell me, I can't stress this enough
I'll go crazy and might punch you if your guards can just lay off my nuts, yeah

That was a close one, not a sore loser
Looks like I'm bitchin', close to blade switchin'
I'm just askin' questions 'bout how you zipped in
And stole my hard-earned win, you won closely, mmh, ah, yeah
La-la-la-la, la-la-la-la (la-la-la-la-la-la-la-la-la)
Closely, such a close-ass win (la-la-la-la-la-la-la-la-la-la)
La-la-la-la, la-la-la-la (la-la-la-la-la-la-la-la-la)
Closely (closely), losin' closely (ah-ah)
La-la-la-la, la-la-la-la (la-la-la-la-la-la-la-la-la) (did that closely, so damn closely)
Closely, thinkin' "closely" all damn day (la-la-la-la-la-la-la-la-la-la)
La-la-la-la, la-la-la-la (la-la-la-la-la-la-la-la-la)
Closely (closely), I failed closely (ah-ah)

The real question is who's more bitter: this guy for losing or me for this song not being bigger? The answer is of course this guy because he's forgotten he's a runner, not a street boxer.

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Voting Results

Pacing: 4.2
How Funny: 4.2
Overall Rating: 4.2

Total Votes: 5

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 5   4

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