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Song Parodies -> "'84/'85"

Original Song Title:

"34+35"

Original Performer:

Ariana Grande

Parody Song Title:

"'84/'85"

Parody Written by:

the_conqueror_of_parodies

The Lyrics

Part of my "Strawberry Ice Cream" self-challenge. You know, I generally try to prevent my parodies from being esoteric and inaccessible, but sometimes I get handed the perfect title sub in order to ramble about my issues with modern Transformers aesthetics. Thank you, Ariana, for being horny on main, I guess!
Hmm

It's drivin' me crazy 'cause nothin' is changin'
Can anybody save me from unendin' 80's?
So sick of Optimus Prime, he's never swappin' his style (yeah)
Window boobies, sick ab grill, all red, blue and white (yeah)
You'd think they could change it up (it up), since that's the whole damn premise, bud (yes, bud)
The engineerin' is top stuff, not sayin' that it's not top stuff, oy
But it's really same-y (it's all really same-y) (same-y)
I'm sorry, but it bores me (have to say it bores me) (bores me)
Might say it's to placate geeks, yeah (could say it's to placate geeks) (damn geeks)
Sick of movie Bumblebees (yeah, yeah, sick of movie Bumblebees)

But it's still not alright, infectin' ev'ry line
'84, '85 (ah-ah-ah-ah), hahaha
The same look all the time (the time), repeat the old designs
'84, '85 (ah-ah-ah-ah) (mmm-mmm-mmm-mmm-mmm-mmm-mmm)

Not just Prime who's the constant (constant)
All characters done blandly
Detailin' none of the lines (no lines) 'cause cartoon budgets were shite (so shite)
It's so smooth, I'm shocked I keep hold, let nothin' fly (yeah)
Just two colours in a block (one block), maybe a third but mostly not (there's not)
And all the same proportions on, they got the same proportions on, oy
Know that I seem whiny (I know that I seem whiny) (whiny)
Toys aren't worth gettin' salty (they're not worth gettin' salty) (salty)
We all get mad at hobbies, yeah (you've been online, mate?) (hobbies)
This is mine, so stick with me (yeah, yeah, yeah)

In ev'ry single line (each line), kids and collector kinds (both kinds)
'84, '85 (ah-ah-ah-ah) ('85, ayy, haha)
High-end Japanese lines (all the same) to baby merchandise (all the same)
'84, '85 (ah-ah-ah-ah) (yeah, yeah, yeah) (oh, yeah-eah-ee-yeah-eah-eah-eah)

Others might say that I should belt up, they're tryin'
Sometimes leave it open in the store for the slightest
Half the shelf is 90's at the moment, I should like it
And yes, I like it, though
Know it's not a permanent state (no way)
In due time, the beasts will go away (beasts will go away)
For way more 80's than I think I can take (I can't take, yeah, yeah)
Even the stuff from Prime (yeah, mate)
Have been redesigned (designed) to the more flat style (yeah)
That's just crossin' the line, why is Bulkhead so lithe (shouldn't be lithe)?
Not the only fan who wants (really want) more variety, I'm not (no, I'm not)
You'd think third-party dudes, dudes, would head our calls, that ain't true, ooh-ooh-ooh

Older collector lines had a more unique style (yeah-eah, yeah)
'84, '85 (ah-ah-ah-ah) ('84, '85), hahaha
Took over that in time (thank you, loud, purist geeks) for a much higher price (that was sarcasm, geez)
'84, '85 (ah-ah-ah-ah) (yeah, yeah, yeah)

And yes, I'm still gonna buy 'em, true, can't quit
I'm mad but I'm still hooked, hahaha

Man, Transformers Animated really hit that perfect balance between nostalgia and trying new things, you know? R.I.P. Derrick J. Wyatt, you really knew what you were doing in the time you were here.

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Voting Results

 
Pacing: 5.0
How Funny: 5.0
Overall Rating: 5.0

Total Votes: 13

Voting Breakdown

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User Comments

Comments are subject to review, and can be removed by the administration of the site at any time and for any reason.

Blaydeman - December 29, 2021 - Report this comment
So glad to see you still doing it on here TCOP!
bobpiecheese - December 30, 2021 - Report this comment
It's gonna be a cold day in hell when I lose my zest for writing these things. Happy to see you to!
Blaydeman - January 13, 2022 - Report this comment
I'm still in the parody game too, just playing in a different arena now.

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