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Song Parodies -> "Schmaltzing Gefilte"
Original Song Title:
"Waltzing Matilda"
Original Performer:
A.B. (Banjo) Paterson
Parody Song Title:
"Schmaltzing Gefilte"
Parody Written by:
The Comedian
The Lyrics
Schmaltz = Yiddish for "chicken fat". Gefilte (pronounced geh-FILL-tuh) = Yiddish for "stuffed" as in "gefilte fish" = "stuffed fish". Goyim = a non-Jewish person. KFC = Kentucky Fried Chicken, an American fast-food franchise known for its schmaltzy fried fowl.
Once a jolly goyim
Lunched with the deli throng
Under a ceiling fan's rotary breeze
And he sang
As he watched
The waiters in the deli toil,
"Please, some more schmaltzing gefilte for me!"
"Schmaltzing gefilte!"
"Schmaltzing gefilte!"
"Please, some more schmaltzing gefilte for me!"
And he sang
As he sat
And waiters plied the deli throng,
"Please, some more schmaltzing gefilte for me!"
Down come a Rabbi
To inspect the deli's soul
Up jumped the goyim and grabbed him in glee
And he sang
As he showed
That Rabbi how his belly sagged,
"See where that schmaltzing gefilte will be!"
"Schmaltzing gefilte!"
"Schmaltzing gefilte!"
"Please, some more schmaltzing gefilte for me!"
And he sang
As he sat
And waiters plied the deli throng,
"Please, some more schmaltzing gefilte for me!"
Up strode the waiter
A-shaking his furrowed head
Waving the menu, and frowning
"There's no one but you who likes that chicken fat!"
"Just you like schmaltzing gefilte, you see."
"Schmaltzing gefilte!"
"Schmaltzing gefilte!"
"Please, some more schmaltzing gefilte for me!"
And he sang
As he sat
And waiters plied the deli throng,
"Please, some more schmaltzing gefilte for me!"
So the goyim, he up
And jumped in his father's Rolls
Driving himself to good ol' KFC
Where he slapped some gefilte fish down on the countertop,
"Please make some schmaltzing gefilte for me!"
Lunched with the deli throng
Under a ceiling fan's rotary breeze
And he sang
As he watched
The waiters in the deli toil,
"Please, some more schmaltzing gefilte for me!"
"Schmaltzing gefilte!"
"Schmaltzing gefilte!"
"Please, some more schmaltzing gefilte for me!"
And he sang
As he sat
And waiters plied the deli throng,
"Please, some more schmaltzing gefilte for me!"
Down come a Rabbi
To inspect the deli's soul
Up jumped the goyim and grabbed him in glee
And he sang
As he showed
That Rabbi how his belly sagged,
"See where that schmaltzing gefilte will be!"
"Schmaltzing gefilte!"
"Schmaltzing gefilte!"
"Please, some more schmaltzing gefilte for me!"
And he sang
As he sat
And waiters plied the deli throng,
"Please, some more schmaltzing gefilte for me!"
Up strode the waiter
A-shaking his furrowed head
Waving the menu, and frowning
"There's no one but you who likes that chicken fat!"
"Just you like schmaltzing gefilte, you see."
"Schmaltzing gefilte!"
"Schmaltzing gefilte!"
"Please, some more schmaltzing gefilte for me!"
And he sang
As he sat
And waiters plied the deli throng,
"Please, some more schmaltzing gefilte for me!"
So the goyim, he up
And jumped in his father's Rolls
Driving himself to good ol' KFC
Where he slapped some gefilte fish down on the countertop,
"Please make some schmaltzing gefilte for me!"
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Voting Results
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Voting Breakdown
The following represent how many people voted for each category.
| Pacing | How Funny | Overall Rating | |||||||||
| 1 | 0 | 0 | 0 | ||||||||
| 2 | 0 | 0 | 0 | ||||||||
| 3 | 1 | 1 | 1 | ||||||||
| 4 | 1 | 2 | 1 | ||||||||
| 5 | 22 | 21 | 22 |
User Comments
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Hava double mazeltov cocktail ;-)
Just in time for the high holy days. I'm printing this out - Waltzing Matilda, Schmaltzing Gefilte - I love it!
Thank you, Philbo and 2Eagle!
Phil: Is a "mazeltov cocktail" a flaming snifter of kosher brandy?
2Eagle: Ahh, if only I'd written "Schmaltzing Gefilte" before my good friend's Bar Mitzvah.....we could have been swingin' our goblets of Manischewitz around, singin' this Quasi-Kosher-Aussie-Ballad! Mazel Tov, MATE! ;-D
Phil: Is a "mazeltov cocktail" a flaming snifter of kosher brandy?
2Eagle: Ahh, if only I'd written "Schmaltzing Gefilte" before my good friend's Bar Mitzvah.....we could have been swingin' our goblets of Manischewitz around, singin' this Quasi-Kosher-Aussie-Ballad! Mazel Tov, MATE! ;-D
australia meets israel, kewl...5s
Ha! Brilliant! Old Banjo is featured on our ten dollar note, though when I slapped one down on the counter of KFC and asked for some schmaltzing gefilte and a diet mazeltov cocktail, they strangely escorted me from the premises with two meaty bouncers on either arm. Congealed greatness here, and 'rotary breeze' fit perfectly.
Alvin and Luke, thank you both, very much.
Luke, thanks for the mention of 'rotary breeze' ! Your summer's comin' up, mate!
Luke, thanks for the mention of 'rotary breeze' ! Your summer's comin' up, mate!
Schplendid.
And if you're looking for a high-calorie, fatty meal, try kishka! This parody, however, is high in fiber... and funny!
Thanks EmiLoca and Mari D!
And for this, fives I should give you? Oy, the title alone was worth it! You're a mensch, Johnny! I'm kvelling! Don't get me started!
Mazel Tov, Reb Pacholek!
a great parody, Johnny
Thank you, Royce.
Having made my comment about the original in the Aus parody thread, I could hardly not comment on your work, a much finer piece of prose!
Thank you, FussBudgetVanPelt!
*************************************************
***Quick note of explanation to my readers***
*************************************************
My parody "Schmaltzing Gefilte" is based on one of the various versions of "Waltzing Matilda" that uses two consecutive repetitions of the words "Waltzing Matilda" at the start of each chorus.
***Quick note of explanation to my readers***
*************************************************
My parody "Schmaltzing Gefilte" is based on one of the various versions of "Waltzing Matilda" that uses two consecutive repetitions of the words "Waltzing Matilda" at the start of each chorus.
(Aust Comp) It's as worthy a subject to base our national anthem around as the OS is - so I can only give it 5s
Thanks Stuart!
Still lots of fun, JD :-)
(Aust comp) The latest South Park episode I saw was the Passion of the Christ one, and reading this reminded me of the church when all fo the stereotypical Jews are criticising how the film stereotypes Jews. Schtill schmashing work, JD!
(OZCO) Loved 'deli throng' for billabong!
Great work JD. Ooh, you said KFC, that gives me an idea.....
Thanks Philbo, Luke, Merry, and Pippin!
What can I say Johnny, this was pure mishigas, even a goyim like me can understand the kunts, which is this parody!
(Decathlon - Event 9) Right, Mr Johnny, that's one Awesomely Paced Parody, with a side of Typical Johnny D-Style Wit with a Large Original Idea I Wish I'd Done. Would you lke any 5's with that?
Goyim (literally, "Nations") is plural. Goy (proper usage in this case, but rhythmically off) is the singular and would be the correct usage. But enough nitpicking...pluralistically speaking, this was very funny.
(DEC9) How have I not voted for this before? I know I've read it....anyway, as an Aussie AND a fan of schmaltz, I loved this! 555
oy vey !my life already .lol made me laugh and i'm not a jew or even jew-ish ! 555
(decath9) what alvin said, and what Stu said - and this also expanded my vocabularic exposure by a good .003%
Decathlon...I swear I'd read this before...and yet there's no comment from me? Odd odd odd. Oh well...this is just FABulous, JD...a fun "classic" from you!
Plied who that was wearing a thong? 5s
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