This mustache on my face makes minds explode
I don't know why you're crazed as Hell
These looks brought me fame with my black chapéu
My lines are silent and swell

Made women cry and moan
When I'm in their zone
Why does my troubled-stash offend?!
This facial hair you'll find
Left me in a bind
I swear this troubled-stash's a trend!
Troubled-stash's a trend!!!

Go watch my movies son, "The Gold Rush" is screened
There's a ton - "City Lights"
I'm the king, Don't know why you screamed
Taking off with speed, Filled with fright

Watched you hide in holes while I'm on a stroll
Each time my troubled-stash is sensed
More autographs aren't signed
Spookin' all mankind
Due to my troubled-stash you're tense
Troubled-stash's intense!

Should I trim it down?
I'm the Tramp: A clown!
Town thinks that I'm a troll
You're not star-struck, Deranged
Fans are all enraged
When they see my snout they get cold

Minds are fried, They're blown
Are you bastards stoned?!
When will this troubled-stash thing end?!
Go rewatch "Modern Times"!
Wore it in my prime!
Hope that this troubled-stash transends!

Troubled-stash I'll mend!
Troubled-stash I'll rend!
Troubled-stash offends!