Down on the playground, all the dragons played their games
With the children from earth, and it seemed far too lame
'Til the teach ran to them. They knew something was wrong
Because Quetzal had been for substantial time gone!
From his horns to his tail, he was covered with powder
As if he had been in a big bowl of clam chowder.
He then said with a yell and a twinkle in his eye:
" My ninos and ninas, you are all gonna die!!!"

Chorus I:
The day Quetzal went crazy,
The day the teach went insane,
He found out he'd been getting a raw deal;
Something must have finally snapped in his brain!

Well, the preschool is gone now; he decided 'twas cheesy!
Everywhere you'll find pieces of Zak and of Wheezie!
And he tied up the dragons and he held the kids hostage,
And he ground up poor Cassie into dragon sausage!
He got Ord and Enrique with his old Great War rifle
Ah! a Mauser it was; it had Emmy stifled!
He then barbecued Max with a gun from Twila Paris
At the top of the college poll just like one from Harris!

Chorus II:
The day Quetzal went crazy,
When Quetzacoatl went nuts!
Now you can't even walk around the meadows
Without stepping in dragon guts!

There's the West Point Cadets and the CIA,
There's a school bus from PBS Kids
And Sherman tanks all stamping out what they say!
And the flames are a-flying, the body count's rising
And everyone's dying to know: "O Quetzal, hey!
O lamentable day!
I guess I can't trust you anyway!"

Teletubbies, now Quetzacoatl's dead;
Some guy came from West Point and chopped off Quetzal's head!
Yes, DT fans, now that's his heart on the floor;
Guess you won't have that dragon to kick around anymore!
But now they're holding funerals for the victims today;
Other kids just went home to tell their folks about the fray!
And they say that old Smitty's on the phone every night
Talking unto his lawyer about the movie rights;

Chorus III:
They're talking 'bout the day Quetzal went crazy,
When Quetzacoatl just flipped!
Got banged up for some dragonberries;
Seems to me he was tired of getting tripped!
Repeat chorus I
Tag:
Woah, something must have finally snapped in his brain;
Tell you, something must have finally snapped in his brain!