An entourage of SAMARA's VICTIMS moves onto the stage as backup singers.

VICTIMS
It's all about the new remake, baby
Uhh
Uh huh, yeah
Uhh
Uh huh, yeah
It's all about the new remake, baby
It's all about the new remake, baby
It's all about the new remake, baby (It's all about the new remake)
It's all about the new remake, baby (It's all about the new remake)
Yeah!

SAMARA enters and begins rapping.

SAMARA
You've got seven days.
Unlucky fellerswell dwellers, yellers
I can beat you evil ghost dispellers
While my movie's become a bestseller
Among the Goths, emos and the bank tellers.
I'm ripe for the kill, subjugating Aidan's will
There's a lot of blood that I'll spill.
I got me a bad nensha produced tape
Which opens the well and lets me escape
I've got serious closure problems for sure
I don't wanna seem mean, but dude, everyone will suffer!
I murder a victim at least once a week
I make "em yell and shriek
Plus their TV starts to leak.
I screw with Aidan, I get him screaming for aid
I come to him at night because he gets so damn afraid
It's all about the new remake, what?
Yes, I know I could be much better groomed
But if you see me, know that you're doomed.
The fact that I am criticized is a shock, though
I could kick the ass of precious Sadako.
She's hasn't got a backstory, what a joke!
Plus I think I'm much more scary when soaked.
She can put all of her menace into one of her eyes
She's the biggest joke in our whole franchise.
Her fanbase seems to not be growing
She isn't played by Daveigh and there's just one eye showing.
Nakata, I bet some whorehouse is where you got her
How else could you dig up such an unghostly rotter?
She hasn't got any sense of how to slaughter
How can anyone say she beats the Morgans' daughter?
She doesn't even look like she's dead in the water!

ALL
It's all about the new remake (It's all about the new remake, baby)
It's all about the new remake (It's all about the new remake, baby)
It's all about the new remake (It's all about the new remake, baby)
It's all about the new remake (It's all about the new remake, baby)

SAMARA
Now you've got seven days!
Unlucky fellerswell dwellers, yellers
I can beat you evil ghost dispellers
While my movie's become a bestseller!

Now, you wanna hang out with me, huh?
No, I'll never upgrade my tape to DVD.
They call me a menacing creature
"Cause I ain't exorcised by no preacher.
I am the scariest girl yet, you bet
Why, I even scared my parents' horsey pets!
Malevolence lurks underneath my dark locks
Hell, I had the scares to kill Brian Cox.
Some say that my movie's less weird than "The Grudge."
They haven't got the brains to judge.
My mean, killer video is copyrighted
But I'm not delighted that no copies have been sighted.
In terms of vocal chords, I'm a rasper
But that didn't hurt, "cause my boyfriend is Casper.
While we ghosts rarely talk "cause we're all plagued with shyness,
The Phantom of the Opera calls me "Your highness."
I've got a love for killing and I'm really mean
I just hope I'd be watched on Plasma screen.
It's not a nice life for the humans who know me
I scared David Dorfman, I spooked Naomi.
Those folks on "she-is-here" are all whacks
My tapes don't mean crap, they just mean more ghost attacks.
I say I'm the best, I dare you to attack this
Sadako just lacks piss
She's just ghostbuster practice!

ALL
It's all about the new remake (It's all about the new remake, baby)
It's all about the new remake (It's all about the new remake, baby)
It's all about the new remake (It's all about the new remake, baby)
It's all about the new remake (It's all about the new remake, baby)

SAMARA
Now you've got seven days!
Unlucky fellerswell dwellers, yellers
I can beat you evil ghost dispellers
While my movie's become a bestseller!
Up yours!