Song Parodies -> "Hush pipe"

Original Song Title:

"Hash-pipe"

^(MP3)

Original Performer:

"Hush pipe"

Parody Written by:

The Lyrics

The incident described is just waiting to happen. Though it is told in the first person, I can just tell it's going to be common when the Jihadis decide this country is a plum waiting to be plucked and then devoured. My hope is that they get the mother of all stomach-aches, and the carnage that results is the beginning of the last - and final - crusade.

"He can't help his lying,
Say's he's out of his mind,
Screams 'they've come to get me' -
He thinks I am blind.
I will not help him,
I have no such desire,
He's a shamming maggot,
who set my home on fire." (with me in it, no less)

"No! Please don't kick me!
Oh, I'll tell anything.
Oh! Don't kick me."
Oh, he's got *his* problems!
Oh, he thinks I'm ass-wipe,
Oh, He's got the big G's -
...I've got my hush-pipe..." (1)

"With Allah in his corner,
He came running with guns,
A mob come to help him,
And a passel of sons.
His harem of slave girls,
His lust unrelenting,
He saw me, an Infidel,
Ripe for the raping."

"No! Please don't shoot me!
Oh, I'll do anything.
Oh! Don't choke me."

"Enough of your sniveling, fool. You thought
I would be easy meat for you and your boys,
and you could nail me up and burn me on a cross while you
laughed as I died... Wrong choice, fool - you picked
someone who isn't an easy meal." (2)

Oh, he's got *his* problems!
Oh, he thinks I'm ass-wipe,
Oh, He's got the big G's -
...I've got my hush-pipe..."

"No! Please don't hit me!
Oh, I'll tell anything.
Oh! Don't slice me."
Oh, he's got *his* problems!
Oh, he thinks I'm ass-wipe,
Oh, He's got the big G's -
I've got my hush-pipe.
I've got my hush-pipe.
I've got my hush-pipe.
I've got my hush-pipe.
I've got my hush-pipe.

(1) a 'hush pipe' is rather hard to get nowadays, as no longer is lead used for water piping. A thick leather pouch, long, thin, and filled partly with birdshot, works passably as a substitute, assuming the leather is thick, soft, and carefully sewn. Its use is obvious. 2) John Ringo would have the Posleen describe such a person as thresh**kreen. (Food that stings *hard*)

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