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Song Parodies -> "Twice, Twice Daily"

Original Song Title:

"Ice Ice Baby"

 (MP3)
Original Performer:

Vanilla Ice

Parody Song Title:

"Twice, Twice Daily"

Parody Written by:

the_conqueror_of_parodies

The Lyrics

Ah, the classic doctor stereotype: their handwriting is terrible. This guy deals with this issue in an interesting way. Enjoy!
What does this say? Can't read it
"Twice, twice daily"
"Twice, twice daily"

Holy crap, I just got my prescription
I can't read anythin' here that's written
Somethin' 'bout takin' doses nightly
Or does it say "don't close the lid tightly"?
How much should I pop? No, I don't know
Doctor's handwritin' sure blows
This isn't somethin' that should end up mishandled
I sure hope this doesn't say "take with a sandal"
That's somethin' one shouldn't consume
Why'd I only start readin' this in my bedroom?
Blame me for that one lapse in memory
Last time I did that, thought the pills were ecstasy
That was a really embarrasin' day
Judge broke records throwin' out that court case
This prescription riddle, I must solve it
"One pill with Coke, the bubbles will disolve it"

"Twice, twice daily", I can read "twice, twice daily"
Does that say "fried lice" maybe?
Right next to "twice, twice daily"
Can't read shit

This part's a doozy, I'm stumpin'
Think it says "don't take thirty minutes 'fore humpin'"
Not for my groin, for my groin I'm takin'
So that can't be, hope that sense, I'm makin'
Benadrin or Benadryl? They're close-ish
Written anyway, don't know drugs, I wish
Would make this crap be less painful, although
Know Panadol, even if it's so-so
Hopin' that this "high 'roid dose"
Is a typo now, 'cause I can't take those
You're askin' me for why? I'm allergic, that's why
"Would you pop" No, just lots of hives
I'm off track, I've still gotta whole lot
Of this prescription to translate into non-doc
Language, not close, no, I think my quest is screwed
I'm still on the first line, dude
Like some secret message from Da Vinci
And I know less than Dan Brown, believe me
"Bollocks", that can't be written right
Think I'd recall if my checkup went there, shite
Stickin' lots of notes on the wall
It's takin' a lot of work to decode this scrawl
I'm not goin' crazy, hell
My linguistic skills, once weak, have swelled
But I'm goin' nowhere real fast
What's with this part, "ten pills for gas"?
Balls to that nonsense, that illness, don't have
So that's a mistranslation, that's a fact, true fact
I think this says "bean", what does that mean?
Doesn't add up, but maybe it says "goat cheese"
Might be mostly nonsense, still I'll solve it
Though into chicken-scratch this is devolvin'

"Twice, twice daily", I can read "twice, twice daily"
Does that say "bright mice" maybe?
Right next to "twice, twice daily"
Can't read shit

Oh geez, is this even in my language?
Assumin' English, see, there's a chance it could be Sanskrit
I've found lots of squiggles but no words, wow
'Cept for the chorus three, not the point now
Just want to know how to take these pills
And how to get this prescription refilled
Somehow I'm not bored with repeat readin' this one script
A less patient person would've ripped
Through this, won't give up, no way
Helps that the doctor's office is closed today
But damn, his handwritin' is crap
Why he can't type this up, another myst'ry, man
Could call tomorrow, but I cannot quit, dude
Though if you'd prefer, I guess we could get food
But once we've had nourishment, I'll solve it
Hell of a riddle, I must unfold it

"Twice, twice daily", I can read "twice, twice daily"
Does that say "fright night" maybe?
Right next to "twice, twice daily"
Can't read shit, right
It's total gibb'rish here
Absolute nonsense
"Twice, twice daily" that's all
"Twice, twice daily" that's all, that's all
"Twice, twice daily" that's all, that's all
"Twice, twice daily" that's all, that's all

Insert "Vanilla Ice sucks" joke here. Not that I think the hate is unfounded (hell no), I just can't be arsed to come up with a crack of my own.

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Voting Results

 
Pacing: 3.7
How Funny: 3.7
Overall Rating: 3.7

Total Votes: 6

Voting Breakdown

The following represent how many people voted for each category.

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User Comments

Comments are subject to review, and can be removed by the administration of the site at any time and for any reason.

Phil Alexander - June 18, 2015 - Report this comment
Damn, there's some high-quality submissions today. This is seriously good (loved the language/Sanskrit "rhyme" :-) )
Patrick - June 18, 2015 - Report this comment
Rap is much more complex than it first appears. This took a lot of skill to write. I can relate to the medical issues, been having a few myself lately. The Da Vinci Code reference is appropriate to the incomprehensible and esoteric nature of your doctor's writing. Don't think Ron Howard is going to make a movie about it, though.
John Barry - June 18, 2015 - Report this comment
What P and P said.

The author of the parody has authorized comments, and wants YOUR feedback.

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