(Long piano intro)

[Right now... Lynyrd Skynyrd are giving their acceptance speech. Johnny Van Zant is joking that due to the success of Blondie's Rapture Riders, Skynyrd is gonna do a Mash-up with the Sex Pistols -- God Free the Bird. "And if that's successful," he says, "Maybe we'll do Anarchy in Alabama."]

[Right now... Lynyrd Skynyrd is playing "Freebird" for the upteenth time.]

[Right now... VH1 is trying to cut to a commercial because the guitar solo has gone on for twenty minutes now. The Blondie/Doors mashup, "Rapture Riders," blasts onto the P.A.'s with the intention of getting Skynyrd to wrap it up already.]

[Right now... The audience is cheering as Shirley Manson graces the stage to induct Blondie.]

[Right now... the band proceeds to play "Rapture."]

Don't wanna wait 'til Oh-Seven
[Right now... VH1 has officially cut to a commercial.]
To see Van Halen in the Hall
[Right now... Some guy from some pop-punk band is giving one big, long speech about the Sex Pistols.]
Three years on, no induction
[Right now... The Sex Pistols are fighting over whether they should play "Anarchy in the UK" or "God Save the Queen."]
No one can stand in their way. Oh
[Right now... The President of the RRHOF reveals that those guys weren't the real Sex Pistols.]
David Lee Roth and Sammy Hagar
[Right now... You are sitting too close to the TV screen.]
Now Ed's gotta pay to get in now
[Right now... I can't think of a joke to put here.]
Into the damn Rock Hall of Fame, can't you see? Hey!
[Right now... Eddie Van Halen is trying to sneak past security to see the show for free.]
Come on please, please the screamin' fans

(Right now) Hey! Induct Van Halen
[Right now... the crowd is cheering as Eddie enters the room, though he isn't performing or getting inducted.]
(Right now) Yeah, in the Hall of Fame
[Right now... Johnny Rotten's letter to the RRHOF is read on-air by Lars Ulrich.]
(Right now) Just forget Dave's talk show
Induct the band right now
[Right now... Lars Ulrich is set to induct Black Sabbath.]
In the Hall of Fame
[Right now... maybe we should pay attention to the lyrics.]

David Roth has lost his hairline
And his hair falls off his head. Noooo!
[Right now... is a good time to take a bathroom break.]
Should have done the reunion
We are all Atomic Punks. Oh!

[Right now... Metallica is performing "Iron Man," but you probably knew that.]

Ain't taaalking 'bout love, I feel unchained
[Right now... James Hetfield is playing the E5 power chord wrong, not to mention he's out of tune.]
You know I'm hot for the teacher
[Right now... is a good time to microwave some food.]
That shouldn't mean this band's too cheesy
[Right now... someone is working too hard for induction.]
Whoa, sure Dave's turned, become this spoof of himself
[Right now... David Lee Roth's radio talk show is on, but nobody's listening.]

(Right now) Hey, ignor Dave's talk show
[Right now... Mike is thinking about a solo project.]
(Right now) Come on, Dave's hair's missing
[Right now... I'm using the original music video to write these "Right Now..." jokes. Thanks, MTV.com]
(Right now) Give VH their moment
Do it right here and now
[Right now... I'm wondering if the Blue Oyster Cult ever got inducted.]
Who cares Eddie's Dutch?

[Right now... your head is probably spinning from trying to focus on both the lyrics and the "Right Now..." jokes.]

As is Alex, too
[Right now... it's very cold in Norman, Oklahoma. In fact, it's very cloudy.]
Dave's Jewish
[Right now... it's probably warmer in Hawaii or Miami or Panama. Ha ha!]
What are ya waitin' for?
[Right now... VH1 is on another commercial. It's an ad for the latest Metal Mania Stripped CD.]
Goooooo Ed!
[Right now... A plumber, a lawyer, and a rabbi walk into a bar... Nevermind, you've probably heard it before.]
[Right now... I'm wondering how much longer this song could be, plus the pausing.]
[Right now... a man is trying to figure out how to say, "Do I look Klingon to you?" in Italian.]
Right now

(Guitar Solo by one of the greatest guitarist in rock history, Mr. Edward Lodewijk [LOAD-a-vick] Van Halen)

[Right now... I'm about to quit writing these "Right Now..." jokes because I seem to be running out of ideas.]

[Right now... (absolutely nothing)]

[Right now... Ed's got his hands full.]

[Right now... the Hall of Fame is back on the TV.]

(Right now) Hey! Don't mind Van Hagar
[Right now... Those A&M Records dudes are getting inducted.]
(Right now) Come on, Dave's hair's missing
[Right now... I'm wondering why Styx hasn't been inducted yet, speaking of A&M Records.]
(Right now) This song's about over
[Right now... I'm patting myself on the back for having such stamina.]
Induct them right, right now (Right now)
Ohhhhh, right now!
[Right Now... It's about time. Yes, pun intended.]

In the Hall of Fame
[Right now... I'm hungry, let's eat!]
[Right now... is not the fault of the Motley Crue.]
Right here and now
[Right now... The Cure have a long way to go before induction.]
Right now, just right now
[Right now... ravioli would be nice.]
[Right now... keeps happening.]
Ohhhhhhh!
[Right now... you are reading this parody on Amiright.]
Tell me, the [expletive] ya waitin' for?
Keep this band around