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Song Parodies -> "Man, I Really Hate Dogs"

Original Song Title:

"Mysterious Ways"

Original Performer:


Parody Song Title:

"Man, I Really Hate Dogs"

Parody Written by:


The Lyrics

I've never been attacked by dogs, though I still hate the buggers - too loud. But noises don't make for an interesting parody (except if the original song is really quiet - as 'Chemistry' and 'I Like Loud Sounds' show, I like that contrast), so I went with the biting dogs angle.
Johnny had a job
As a newspaper boy
Up at half past six
The job brought him joy
But there was a niggling part
That he hated much
He'd been attacked each day
By each kind of damn mutt

That Fido, he's chomping down
Johnny's pissed, and he starts to shout

"Off the leg, off the leg, that's my leg!
Hey man, could you call off your dog?
Stop the bite, stop the bite, I don't like!
Hey man, could you call off your dog?

John then took a job
Raking leaves out in the park
Even though it's hard to see
He prefers dark
Because there's less chance
Of some bloody dog
Chomping on his arm or leg
Even worse, on his log
That'd hurt, boy!

There's no place that John can hide
Now the dogs number thirty-fiiiiive

Bulldogs bite, Great Danes bite, and pugs bite
"Hey guys, could you call ofg your dogs?"
Bloodhounds bite, beagles bite, poodles bite
"Hey guys, could you call off your dogs?
OW! Ow! Ow!"
They all bite, love to bite, but why bite?
Bloody dogs, can't sleep at night, oh

They're hunting in packs after me
You think I'm scared? No shit, Sherlock
Their teeth are sharp, yeah
Sense of smell tracks my movement
All for no reason!

Johnny's plight, is my plight, I'm him, right
Oh crap, there's a large pack of dogs!
Hate the bite, hate the bite, dislike bites
Oh crap, sev'ral packs of large dogs!

[various shouting as I run away from the bloody dogs]
I couldn't make out what the hell was going on after that last chorus, so the bit in the brackets is my lame wuss-out. So, uh...look! MONKEYS! (scarpers)

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Original Song: 
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Voting Results

Pacing: 4.9
How Funny: 4.9
Overall Rating: 4.9

Total Votes: 12

Voting Breakdown

The following represent how many people voted for each category.

    Pacing How Funny Overall Rating
 1   0
 2   0
 3   0
 4   1
 5   11

User Comments

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Matthias - March 26, 2009 - Report this comment
Dog gone good parody work here T-Cop!
Arwen - April 07, 2009 - Report this comment
AGES...actually, as a proud owner of the BEST Great Dane on the planet...(one of many that I've had through my life)...I can say that they DON'T bite. They tackle. =)

Nice work, Conq...
Melanie Lee - April 08, 2009 - Report this comment
Pretty good; a couple of good laughs. I thought some of the pacing was a little ragged, but I wasn't sure. Amusing but not hilarious. 5-4-4.
Below Average Dave - April 08, 2009 - Report this comment
LOL Arwen. . TCOP thanks for bringing me back to this OS, hadn't heard it since. . .the 90s:) "Even worse, on his log" that's what pants are for! This was pretty funny TCOP, I like dogs myself, but what a terrifying story for a newspaper boy. I've never been attacked by a dog, over here in America (at least everywhere I've lived) you have to have any guard dog on a chain or in a fenced in yard or home to prevent such atrocities.
Invisible Boy - April 08, 2009 - Report this comment
"A dingo ate my baby"
Not really
I liked your idea against the OS. Sometimes listening to U2 feels to me like someone slowly chewing-off my leg. Not this parody, though.Good job !
Jeff Reuben - April 08, 2009 - Report this comment
Ages--It's a dog eat dog world! Nice job!
Glen S - April 08, 2009 - Report this comment
Great use of original. I felt like the refrains were the strongest part, and I really enjoyed all the different subs you used, but 'off my leg' was a favorite.
Agrimorfee - July 24, 2009 - Report this comment
Some consistency in the refrains would have been a bit better, I'd say. I agree with Melanie Lee.
Timmy1000 - July 26, 2009 - Report this comment
(ABC) The story is well written and funny, but I had trouble getting through while following the OS; the pacing was a little rough. When I delivered newspapers, a bike would help get away from most dogs, but I understand the panic.
Guy - July 26, 2009 - Report this comment

"Who let the dogs out"? Woof woof... Dog's as these you deal with by "tearing the 'roof' off the sucker". I was biten while delivering newspapers by a collie on the front of the thigh. It was a realy nasty bite. The dog came out of nowhere with no warning and just chomped down. I can relate to this parody. DKTOS but I did listen to the OS provided - A bit light on the funny but the structure is sound.
Mark Scotti - July 26, 2009 - Report this comment
(ABC) A "ferocious" dog bash!!
Max Power - July 28, 2009 - Report this comment
Hello Michael Vick
Leo Keough - August 06, 2009 - Report this comment
ABC5(M)...LOL on the "log" line...nice work...555!!!
Matthias - August 06, 2009 - Report this comment
See above boy! Come on see above!
Below Average Dave - August 06, 2009 - Report this comment
See above TCOP:) oh what is niggling. . .that sounds like it may be Australian slang, I could tell from the context what it meant, good job!
Red Ant - August 09, 2009 - Report this comment
I really enjoyed this. Fave line was: "Even worse, on his log". Kudos for taking an improbable chorus/title line and making it work. The little bit of lyrics at the end you skipped - no biggie: one could ad-lib other choruses and various shouts there. No lyrics sites have those lyrics, and translating all that by ear is too time consuming. Creative cop-out is accepted. =)

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