I know that it's Halloween
Many fucking happy returns
I am now such a bastard
You can suck my dick
We can see the Midlands
from the underworld of sacrifice
I am too underage now
You are from the Outer Hebrides

Mother, can you fucking mutter
Many fucking happy returns
I am such a dicksucker
Many things can remember

Why, can't we be in October
Just because the Gods won't like it
Why, can't we be in October
Just because the Gods won't like it
Yeah

Whoever's talking of Scotland
Wants to write me an asshole
I can be the drink that kills you
Many fucking thanks
I can see the polka medley, come right up my arse
You can go fuck off
Fuck off right in a ditch

Mother, can you fucking whisper
Play Chinese whispers with me
I'm a Yorkshire cricket supporter
Fuck you Leeds, leave me alone

Why can't we be in October
Just because it's Hitler's birthday
Why can't you suck my fucking dick
Just because you're started it back then
Why can't we sing 'Smack My Bitch Up'
Just cos of the controversy over it
Have you seen it's music video
I have, a number of times, suffered masturbation

I am a Scottish preacher
Straight out of Falmouth
Nearly next to fucking Falkirk
I am Ian Rankin
Many fucking returns to me
Can you even see me
Do you really fucking love
(DUM-DUM)
Fucking love me, fucking love me

Why can't we be in fucking October
Just because you're ruin Halloween
Why can't we not before friends, oh well
Just cos we're fucking 20s now
oh, oh, oh, oh

I want what I need
I want what I need
I want what I need
I want what I need
I want what I need
I want what I need
I want what I need
I want what I need
I want what I need
I want what I need
I want what I need
I want what I need
I want what I need
I want what I need
I want what I need
I want what I need
Oh, oh, oh, oh