If I could only brea-eathe, I may not drown soon
But I'm not one to bet on tha-a-at
At this swimmin' thi-ing, I ki-inda suck
No Michael Phelps, du-ude
If I could only brea-eathe, that would
Be pre-etty swee-eet, but I guess
But I guess I'm scre-ewed, geez

Why did I go-o swimmin'?
When I know tha-at my
Brain isn't one that's cali-ibrated
To push water aside
I just can't go with the flow
Unless it's a down one, thou-ou-ough

If I could only brea-eathe, I ma-ay not drown soon
But I'm not sure I can do tha-a-at
Water's in my wa-ay, I ha-ate this stuff
All its greens and blues
If I could only brea-eathe, that would
Be ni-ice and stu-uff, but I guess
But I guess I'm bo-oned, geez

I can't doggy-paddle
I pity who gets saddl-led
With savin' my ass, cause I'm a jerk
Who's all kinds of du-u-u-umb
Who can't swim these days, dude?
I can't, you know I can't go
And swim along with the flo-ow
I can't take a ba-ath without a life-ja-acket
So why'd I jump in here, man?
That's the part I can't cra-a-ack

If I could only brea-eathe, I ma-ay not drown soon
But I don't think I can do tha-a-at
Know I sound blasé-é abou-out my luck
I'm used to it, dude
If I could only brea-eathe, that would
Be grea-eat for me-e, but I guess
But I guess I wo-on't, geez

Know that I suck at breaststroke
I cannot dive at all, no-o
You kno-ow
Why did I jump at all, man?
Did I just slip? That's cra-a-ap

If I could only brea-eathe, I ma-ay not drown soon
Know all too well I can't change tha-a-at
Might as well just sa-ay goodbye-ye, good luck
Don't drown like me, dude
If I could only brea-eathe, that wou-ould
Be swee-eet, hang on, just a sec
It's only two fee-eet deep