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Song Parodies -> "Too Gruff"

Original Song Title:

"Good Stuff"

 (MP3)
Original Performer:

The B-52's

Parody Song Title:

"Too Gruff"

Parody Written by:

the_conqueror_of_parodies

The Lyrics

The tale of a young man who's voice is really low and gravelly. Because.
Grrrr!
Not right
(It's rough) It's rough
(It's rough) My voice is rough
(It's rough) Too rough
(It's rough) Too frickin' rough
(It's gruff) It's gruff
(It's gruff) A bit too gruff
(It's gruff) Real gruff
(It's gruff) Too bloody gruff
Hey buddy
What?
Can't converse with you, my voice is too gruff
Well...

My throat is
Filled with grit
My voice is
Made of grit

Said you wanna hear it?
Well, I'm singin' with it
Just listen to me
So gruff, buddy

Now you've heard it
Can you tell why I hate it?
It's too gruff, buddy
Much too gruff

My voice is gravelly and hard to hide
It's like I've swallowed nails all my life
Never has my rough voice worked for me
It's just too gruff, messed up my life

It's so damn full of grit
I hock sand when I spit
Just listen to me
So gruff, buddy

So full of grit
You could compare me to Clint
Clint Eastwood, buddy
That's not good

Sick of people askin' to do impressions
"Do Dirty Harry!" they keep on sayin'
So please hear my embarrassin' confession:
That film, ain't seen it, so stop requestin'!

Is it grav'lly? It's grav'lly
But how grav'lly? A lot
It's so grav'lly and shit, you should know
Listen buddy
It blows!

Livin' with a voice that's so damn low
Feels like I speak with my toes
Can't get girls with a voice this low
Not smooth like Connery, no

Too gruff, my voice is simply too gruff
Quite rough, my voice is overly rough
Too gruff, my voice is too bloody gruff
Real rough, my voice is just way too rough

My whole life, my voice has been this rough
Yes, as a toddler I was gru-huff
My mum and dad were shocked, but they stood by me
As I rumbled through life

I was gruff when I was teethin'
And it kept goin' when I started speakin'
Copped flak fro-o-om teachers teachin'
Thought I was jokin', nope, sure had them reelin'

Sounds like I've been smokin' since I was five
But that's not how my voice got so gruff, nope, it's just me
(Pitch is down)
It's really rough
(Not made up)
It's not a lie
Sounds like I swallowed rocks, yep, it's that gruff
Yeah

It's so gruff that I can't use a phone
Cause it sounds obscene, you know
At times I wish it was just low
I could sound just like Tom Jones

Will it be worse when I'm fully grown?
I hope not, cause that would blow
How it could get worse, I don't know
Subsonic levels of low

Too rough, my voice is pretty damn rough
Real gruff, my voice is way too damn gruff
Quite rough, my voice is really damn rough
Too gruff, my voice is simply too gruff

Good speech I'm manglin'
I'm real pissed off, dang it!
My voice is too gruff!
I'm sick of angstin'
It's closer to wangstin'
'Bout my voice, it's gruff!

The ladies, they don't want it, yeah
The fellas laugh cause I have it, yeah

Gonna wallow in my own deep sorrow
Voice is too low and just way too gruff
Gonna wallow, you could call me shallow
Cause I'm emo 'bout how it's too rough
[repeat under next two lines]

The ladies freak out at it, yeah
The fellas mock cause I have it, yeah
Hey

[instrumental]

It's too, too, too, too, too, too, too, too, too, too, too, too, too, too, too rough!
It's too, too, too, too, too, too, too, too, too, too, too, too, too, too, too gruff!

Essentially this is me in the morning before my coffee.

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 LittleLots
Matches Pace of
Original Song: 
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Voting Results

 
Pacing: 3.0
How Funny: 2.7
Overall Rating: 2.8

Total Votes: 6

Voting Breakdown

The following represent how many people voted for each category.

    Pacing How Funny Overall Rating
 1   3
 3
 3
 
 2   0
 0
 0
 
 3   0
 1
 0
 
 4   0
 0
 1
 
 5   3
 2
 2
 

User Comments

Comments are subject to review, and can be removed by the administration of the site at any time and for any reason.

Matthias - October 24, 2013 - Report this comment
WHERE ARE THEY?! What? The Batman references! I was expecting your parody to be filled with them. Not bad though and I liked the inclusion of Clint Eastwood.
Agrimorfee - October 29, 2013 - Report this comment
This is why I picked a short song for the B52s Artistry Round. This parody just took forever, with little payoff. Some references to Tom Waits, Popeye, or Louis Armstrong would have been welcomed here as well.
Abbott Skelding - October 30, 2013 - Report this comment
I wasn't expecting a Batman or Louis Armstrong reference really until Matty and Grim mentioned them...they would have been nice to include, but I though this was well done anyway. Nice work!
Max Power - November 10, 2013 - Report this comment
My story is quite the opposite since I have to deal with the fact that my voice is high. It can be a problem for me when speaking to someone on the phone who would ask me if I'm a girl, I hate that!
Blaydeman - November 13, 2013 - Report this comment
(Artistry) I definitely don't have a gravely voice, but I can still enjoy a parody about one. I also would've liked a Louis Armstrong reference, but that's neither here nor there. Good work.

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