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Song Parodies -> "Small Jar"

Original Song Title:

"All Star"

 (MP3)
Original Performer:

Smash Mouth

Parody Song Title:

"Small Jar"

Parody Written by:

the_conqueror_of_parodies

The Lyrics

You ever see those really tiny jars of peanut butter and stuff? This guy is mildly obsessed with them...
On shoppin' runs, show me the biggest jar of honey
There ain't no way that I'll be convinced
That it's more bang for my buck cause it's larger than my gut
Cause I don't really care about bargains
Well, the ticks are tockin' and they won't stop tockin'
Back to the huge stacks of cash I'll be droppin'
Doesn't make sense? Know I look a dunce
But I won't part from my chosen ones
Get glares from you but can't you see
That it's wrong to infringe on my glee?
Thought you would know, seems that you don't
I'll tell you why it ain't no joke

Hey now, it's a small jar, gets my brain all "No way!"
Hey now, I will not part cause it's so small, it's great
I want that in my abode
Though it won't spread far on my toast

I love food paste, whether it's peanut butter
Some Vegemite or all of the damn Nutella
And I always keep spreadin' it thicker
Even if I've used sev'ral jars, I'm no quitter
And that's the state that I've been livin' in
I'm always buyin' more cause I can't just spread thin
Won't be no liar: it's my fault
That's the way I like it, so I don't think I'll halt

Hey now, it's a small jar, sets my brain off, won't say
"Hey now, that's enough jars" that's a load of bull, mate
Must stack more in my home
It's a work of art, I think so

Bro, they're so cute
So friggin' cute
Whoa, they're so cute
So freakin' cute

Hey now, it's a small jar, makes my brain all not-sane
Hey now, I will not start stickin' those up my date
That's not what I meant, you know
Takin' it too far

Cause shoppin's a task that can make the weaker crack
You need to take care of your own mental state
But I bet you won't invest in a thousand tiny jars to help
It's mostly all to help me be sane
Well, my gut makes rumbles so my resolve crumbles
Hopin' that you won't result in a stumble
Some of these things are still glass-type ones
You make act smart but you're still a dunce
If you refuse to budge for me
While I'm loadin' up on my stuff, please
You need to go before I blow (blow)
Unless my mind flips just like so

Hey now, it's a small jar, now my brain's gone, okay
Hey now, better walk off 'fore the fugue's lost, don't say
"Stop this obsession, you dolt"
Dude, it isn't hard to just bolt
Let me have this, I won't fold
Store won't go bankrupt from what's sold

As far as I can tell, this song holds the entirely pointless record of "song that appears in the most mashups in my playlist" at 13, though that's only because Neil Cicierega is ever so slightly mad.

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 LittleLots
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Voting Results

 
Pacing: 5.0
How Funny: 5.0
Overall Rating: 5.0

Total Votes: 3

Voting Breakdown

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    Pacing How Funny Overall Rating
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 2   0
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 3   0
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 4   0
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 5   3
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User Comments

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Jonathan - February 20, 2018 - Report this comment
hey c_o_p, you're an All Star! 5s
Heyitsgalaxycreeper - March 10, 2018 - Report this comment
Best One Ever

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