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Song Parodies -> "Nothing Is Worse Than These"
Original Song Title:
"Nothing Compares 2 U"
Original Performer:
Sinead O'Connor
Parody Song Title:
"Nothing Is Worse Than These"
Parody Written by:
Dumb Ass Kid
The Lyrics
'Nothing Is Worse Than These' aka 'A Tribute To Crap British Number Ones'
There's been several songs that make me cringe
I wish they'd take them off the air
Played on every night and every day
I wish they'd ban them all
Since they're here I've been ripping out my hair
I've been smashing up all of my rooms
The teletubbies made a single and got to number one
And nothing I said nothing can take away Britney Spears
'Cause nothing is worse
Nothing is worse than these
Bob The Builder and Eiffel 65
Even Geri Haliwell
No-one can stop these awful songs from playing
Tell us, Virgin, what did we do wrong?
I can smash up every single bad CD
Mr Oizo and 911
I asked Sony Music and guess what they told me
Guess what they told me
They said "boy it's all a matter of taste in music but you have none"
But it's a con
'Cause nothing compares
Nothing compares to crap
(Very long drawn out musical interlude)
All these got number one here mama
In the UK
Way back in 99
I know that listening to them baby is sometimes hard
But please just grit your teeth and try
'Cause it can't get worse
Can't get much worse than this
No music's worse
No music's worse than this
I hate these songs
I hate these songs, do you?
(Fake tear rolls down cheek)
I wish they'd take them off the air
Played on every night and every day
I wish they'd ban them all
Since they're here I've been ripping out my hair
I've been smashing up all of my rooms
The teletubbies made a single and got to number one
And nothing I said nothing can take away Britney Spears
'Cause nothing is worse
Nothing is worse than these
Bob The Builder and Eiffel 65
Even Geri Haliwell
No-one can stop these awful songs from playing
Tell us, Virgin, what did we do wrong?
I can smash up every single bad CD
Mr Oizo and 911
I asked Sony Music and guess what they told me
Guess what they told me
They said "boy it's all a matter of taste in music but you have none"
But it's a con
'Cause nothing compares
Nothing compares to crap
(Very long drawn out musical interlude)
All these got number one here mama
In the UK
Way back in 99
I know that listening to them baby is sometimes hard
But please just grit your teeth and try
'Cause it can't get worse
Can't get much worse than this
No music's worse
No music's worse than this
I hate these songs
I hate these songs, do you?
(Fake tear rolls down cheek)
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Voting Results
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Voting Breakdown
The following represent how many people voted for each category.
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| 2 | 0 | 0 | 0 | ||||||||
| 3 | 0 | 0 | 0 | ||||||||
| 4 | 3 | 3 | 3 | ||||||||
| 5 | 15 | 15 | 15 |
User Comments
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You have just put all my worst musical nightmares into text form...Aaaarrrrggghhhhh!!! 555
God - dark times in chart history. I always wondered how the Teletubbies theme tune became popular. 5-5-5.
Kristof - calm down, man. It's just a parody!!! (and thanx) Blethar - I've wondered that many a time myself about the teletubbies tune, bob the builder, westlife, cliff richard's milenium prayer (worst song ever), mr oizo, s club 7 and geri haliwell. Strangely enough, all were released about 1999. hmmm
You young whippersnappers, you don't know how bad it can get -- but I do, you hear? I survived the dark times. I survived --- Disco!
It ain't just the UK, DAK. The USA has just as much, or more crap than anybody. I personally haven't listened to radio since the eighties. The definitive age of great rock music ended in the late seventies for me, with a few exceptions like DIRE STRAIGHTS and a few other bands. Good thoughts in this parody, but DNKOS.
I DO !!!!!! (hate these songs, too) especially eiffel 65's. I'm not exactly sure what songs got to number one in the U.K, but you missed out the spice girls. 555 anyway
Rex - Ouch. Disco hurts! Dee - I know all about you Americans, 'The Macarena' number one for 15 weeks?! How do you live with yoursleves? Alyssa - I wanted to include the Spice Girls somewhere, and i was going to, I guess I forgot to include them in the submitted version
Heresy Dee Range!! Music stopped in/around 1996 ( with few exceptions after that, from then on it was Muzak ). Great song DAK, and great slam parody on crappy music. PS- As for the Macarena being #1 for 15 weeks, well lets just say it was #1 for me for about 15 seconds ( whoever the hell kept requesting that needs to be shipped to the North Pole to be eaten by Polar bears ). 555
A humongous thank u to all who've voted/left comments. This is now officially my most successful parody having getten 6 consecutive 555 votes in a row. I'm speechless!
STOP PRESS -- The record has since been broken by 'It's Not A Funeral' 9x 555
( SOTM ) Already voted and commented.
There's supposed to be seven signs of the apocalypse and you say that there was about seven crappy one-hit wonders in 1999. Hmm... That would mean Satan came into power shortly after that, or doesn't it, hmm...
More than seven, Peter. Try a whole year's worth
(SOTM) UK charts have always been wacky, letting the weirdest novelty tunes hit #1 wqith a bullet. That can be a good thing and a bad thing. Cute song.
Thanx, Agrimorfee
(SOTM) Wow, I haven't heard the OS in ages. Great work, DAK. 555
(SOTM) I know a few choice songs that I'd like to die.
Charlie and Scathe thank you both
(SOTM) Excellent work here, DAK! 555
(SOTM) Way to "Spice" up the song with Geri Halliwell!
SOTM...DKTOS
Thanx Rick, Jeff and Dee
(SOTM) DKTOS and I have to agree with Dee's first comment on the thread.
What Agrimorfee said. If anyone thinks that Brit and US charts are virtually identical, ask a Yank who Cliff Richard is. Anyhoo - great job, DAK. I especially like the fake tear.
Thank you Guy and Spaff
SOTM--I think we can all relate...I know I've got a huge list of songs that drive me nuts...=)
Arwen - thank u
(SOTM) Sounds as dismal as the pop scene on this side of the pond. Nice job, DAK.
Thanx, Melhi
We only hear imported crappola, which gives us the illusion that our local music must be of a much higher quality. Nice parody.
Thanx, Luke
(SOTM) Commented above.
(SOTM) Did the Teletubbies really have a #1 hit song in the UK ?
Thanx Rex. Yeah, Johnny they did. It got christmas number one in the late ninties and was no1 for about 3/4 weeks [shudders]
(SOTM) LOL!! for the fake tear at the end - recall the OS but not enough to get the pacing working perfectly for me, but I endorse your sentiments DAK, and a GREAT idea for a parody - 555
Thanks, Stu! It's only a rumour at the mo, but if it's true, I would like to add another really really REALLY bad number one to the parody.... Crazy Frog
Hey! I LIKED the Bob the Builder song! Way more than than any Sinead song, anyway. But good job nonetheless, the fake tear was a great touch.
Thanx, Claude. Bob The Builder? Ugh...
(SOTM) Still makes me cringe...;-)
Thanx, Kristof
I wholeheartedly agree with your fundamental premise, DAK. Well written :-)
Thanx, Phil : )
All pop music has to do is be catchy to make the charts... but more and more it seems like 'catchy' and 'annoying' are interchangable in that phrase. Honestly, I think I should write and produce a song with lyrics so stupid and repetative I can't breath and a beat derived from the absence of any kind of musical ability. I'd probably chart and make millions... sorry, nice one DAK.
Don't start getting ideas ; ) Thanx
(SOTM) You know, I probably have to be the only one to actually like some of those one hits. Great song Dumb Ass. ;-)
Thank you, mysterygoat
(SOTM) Late comment due to Firefox and lack of sleep (I guess).. Great concept and love the bashing.
Thanks, Tim
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