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Song Parodies -> "Hey, I’m Only the Doorman"

Original Song Title:

"Man, I Feel Like a Woman"

Original Performer:

Shania Twain

Parody Song Title:

"Hey, I’m Only the Doorman"

Parody Written by:

Brad Snyder

The Lyrics

OK, from the title it’s obvious this was originally a woman’s song, sung from a woman’s point of view, sung by a woman. But since I’m so comfortable in my masculinity, I thought it be fun to take this great melody (and by the way, the guitar part’s pretty awesome too) and write it as a man’s song...specifically a man’s song! Anyway, it was a lot of fun to work on. I hope y’all enjoy it.
(Artist: A. Hire Playn)

“Good day, Sir...Ma’am.”

They’re goin’ out tonight. Not my business why.
“Let me get the door for you...”
They might notice me, indirect-al-ly.
But that isn’t..what we do...


It’s our tradition. This is my mission -
Get them safely through the gate...
Doesn’t matter how. Only that it’s now.
They shouldn’t have to stand there and wait...
A cool thing about being a doorman –
I let the wealthy in and out, and it’s a living!

Oh, oh, oh. It’s totally crazy. Rich men and their ladies.
Boardwalks. Posh shops.
Oh, oh, oh. Open the door, and do it with a smile.
Oh, oh, oh. Our interaction’s..kind of old-fashioned.
Hold down the fort. Build a rapport.
Oh, oh, oh. They don't really see me, or wonder how I feel.
But hey, I’m only the doorman.

Now when I take a break, my lunch is what I make.
I can’t afford
I’m okay with that. At least I get a hat.
It covers up my whole bald spot!..
A fun thing about being a doorman –
I sometimes get to watch their yappin' Pomeranians!

Oh, oh, oh. It’s totally crazy. Rich men and their ladies.
Cute pets. Big mess!
Oh, oh, oh. Open the door, and give 'em a big smile.
Oh, oh, oh. My satisfaction’ the transaction.
Manning my post. Kind of a ghost.
Oh, oh, oh. I know they don't see me
As somebody that's real.
But hey, I’m only the doorman.


The best thing about being a doorman -
Is the exemption from a lengthy one-on-one:




Oh, oh, oh. It’s totally crazy. Rich men and their ladies.
Jet-sets. Well-dressed.
Oh, oh, oh. Open their door. I've done this for a while.
Oh, oh, oh. My reputation' their migrations.
Stayin’ on watch. Comfortable socks.
Oh, oh, oh. They're treating me nice
'Cause they like the way it feels.
But hey, I’m only the doorman.

(the usual closing stuff; nothing too serious)
Hey! Ow! Ow! Oh, oh. Yeah, yeah.
Totally crazy. They don’t see me.
What?! What?! What?! It’s all good.
Ooh! Ooh! Ooh! I’m only the doorman!
The “Good?” “Yep.” “Good.” isn’t based on actual lyrics in the original, but fills in the part where the music stops cold. It just extends the “lengthy one-on-one” a bit more. Seriously, it fits. No, really, I tried it.

Your Vote & Comment Counts

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Matches Pace of
Original Song: 
How Funny: 
Overall Score: 

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Voting Results

Pacing: 3.0
How Funny: 3.0
Overall Rating: 3.0

Total Votes: 8

Voting Breakdown

The following represent how many people voted for each category.

    Pacing How Funny Overall Rating
 1   3
 2   0
 3   2
 4   0
 5   3

User Comments

Comments are subject to review, and can be removed by the administration of the site at any time and for any reason.

CML - March 06, 2018 - Report this comment
I know the song and the performer, but I have no idea about the lyrics. I saw her perform this many times on MTV, and I must confess, total ignorance of the lyrics did not affect my enjoyment of the video in the slightest .. for some strange reason. The only lyrics I caught were "I feel like a woman" and "A-wa-uh-oh." ....... So I have no idea if you butchered the pacing or tracked it to perfection. But hey, I'll give you fives anyhow
CML - March 06, 2018 - Report this comment
That's odd. I gave you fives and it didn't change your score. You should have three fives (at least)
Brad Snyder - March 07, 2018 - Report this comment
Thanks, CML. Really appreciate the 5's, especially not being all that familiar with the original song. That was cool. Looks like they did go through eventually. I'll work on getting more current in my repertoire. Have a good one.

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