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Song Parodies -> "I Can't Drive, Cuz I'm 75"

Original Song Title:

"I Can't Drive 55"

 (MP3)
Original Performer:

Sammy Hagar

Parody Song Title:

"I Can't Drive, Cuz I'm 75"

Parody Written by:

Robert D. Arndt Jr.

The Lyrics

Old people on the roads made me think of this...
One foot ridin’ the brake and not on the gas, HEY!
Yeah, there's too much traffic, waitin’ to pass, GO!
So I gotta get on the move (but)
A big red stopped bus ahead and those damn kids again!

(Chorus)
Go on and write me up for 25
Check my pulse, am I dead or alive?
Take my license, along with my ride
I can't drive, cuz I’m 75!

Oh No! Too Slow!

So I signed my name on ticket 124, hey!
Yeah the judge said, "Pops, just one more
Gonna take your license away for too many points"
Looked me in the eye, said, "Pay attention next time!"
I said "Sure, OK!, I‘ll pay the fine!"

Go on and write me up for 25
Check my pulse, am I dead or alive?
Take my license, along with my ride
I can't drive, cuz I’m 75!

Slow, Make way!

I can't drive, cuz I’m 75! (four times)
Oh No!!! (Solo)

When I drive real slow, I really can’t see or hear
And I can't get my car out of first gear
I drive slow on the road, cars honking all day
Until… I pull into a parking lot just to get to Safeway!
(Where’s that placard anyway???)

Go on and write me up for 25
Check my pulse, am I dead or alive?
Take my license, along with my ride
I can't drive, cuz I’m 75!

No, no, no, I can't drive...(cuz I’m 75!)
I can't drive... cuz I’m 75!
I can't drive…cuz I’m 75!


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Voting Results

 
Pacing: 4.6
How Funny: 4.9
Overall Rating: 4.8

Total Votes: 19

Voting Breakdown

The following represent how many people voted for each category.

    Pacing How Funny Overall Rating
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 2   1
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 3   2
 1
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 4   1
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 5   15
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User Comments

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Wild Child JIN - May 23, 2011 - Report this comment
Sure you can drive if you're 75, just stay in the fast lane and go about 15 miles per hour! ;-D Great job Rob, I really love this one! 5's :-)
Wendy Christopher - May 23, 2011 - Report this comment
I liked this one a lot! There's quite a bit of the original song still used in this - which I suppose is inevitable when both versions are talking about cars and driving - but I have to say I found the bits you changed way funnier than the original lyrics, so nice job Can ya drive 555? ;^)
WarrenB - May 23, 2011 - Report this comment
Pretty funny, but had some trouble reading to the original rhythm of song.
Rob Arndt - May 23, 2011 - Report this comment
Warren, yeah I can't remeber how Hagar sang that but I messed up on the last line of the first verse which should read: A big red bus up ahead and all those damn kids again! Oops...
AFW - May 23, 2011 - Report this comment
That's funny, I'm an old person..even exceeding your speed limit here...but I think I drive ok...it's all those crazy young drivers! :)
One Foot On the Brake and One On the Gas, Yeah! - May 24, 2011 - Report this comment
Really good. It reminds me of what really happened in my home city a few years ago. Retired U.S. Marine, astronaut and Senator John Glenn and his wife got in an accident. He was driving, making a left turn to get on another freeway. I've been at the location before - you have to go across several lanes to make your turn and you'd better do it mighty flaming FAST. It's VERY difficult for anyone to do, making such a turn there is dangerous, an utter B-I-T-C-H. It's laudable that Glenn chose to drive himself rather than be chauffered around but he and his wife got injured badly in the crash. They did recover but it was time for Glenn to hang the keys up. At that time he was "only" 87 years old. Your parody says it all.

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