I sit in bed
With some bagels piled up by my head
There's one with cheese
And egg foo yung Chinese
Or sesame seeds
And I´ve been told
That some people like their bagels cold
But I like toasty ones instead
I'm stuffing in my head
It's terribly well-bread
I’m loving bagels in bed

And I want mo-o-o-o-re
Gimme one with smoked salmon
Philadelphia and ham on
Soon they'll all be gone
Eating three or four
Whatever I may make me
Of whate'er I partake, me
But you know, most of all... they're very tasty
I’m loving bagels in bed

But now I've got to know
Will my penis fit inside that hole
I look around
But I know I'm alone in this house
And as I feel it grow
And flesh, it turns to stone
They squeeze over my head
I’m *loving* bagels in bed

But now I'm so-o-o-re
And on closer inspection
It's chafing my erection
Fitting on three or four
I hope that it won't fall
Off from the frustration
To circumvent castration
A bit of mayonnaise... for lubrication
I’m "loving" bagels in bed

{Solo - some mean finger-lickin'}

And I want mo-o-o-o-re
I look for some confection
To put on my erection
To dangle upon my dong
And right down to my balls
I'll take a custard donut
I hope that I won't go nuts
Hope When it hits the wall.. I'll still have gonads
I’m loving bagels in bed