Me at my keyboard, I think that I'm too bored
Fifty-six K, my modem can't take any more
Log in time, and I'm shopping online
Should I click it? (Yes you should)
I got (mail), you got (spam), we got a connection
I've got my mouse, gonna plug it in the port
It's time to do some surfing
AOL, back on line, can I get through this time?
Every morning, every night
Moose heads, should I buy them? Old LPs, do I need them?
Need credit cards to buy

Chorus:
I just wanna shop, EBay, "cause I'm buying a whole bunch of crap
I don't wanna stop, EBay, and I'm feeling like such a sap

Everyone is bidding, and I'm admitting
I can't stop, it's quite addicting
Got a Star Trek lampshade, and Madonna's bra
The novelty won't last, when I buy this trash (aw)
I got no style, and I got no taste
It's time to move this junk now
If I can't find a gift, I'm in the right place
It's time to buy some garbage
I just want a pet rock, or Elvis' socks, I'm a nostalgic guy
Old shirts, gotta get them, need credit cards to buy

(Chorus x2)

They always get you, say it has value, it's not true
Feel like a sucker, I say I'm not buying it, but I do
Log off

(Chorus x2)