Today is gonna be the day
When I'll cash a big nine-figure check
Although I've heard it all before
That the odds are really very "bleck"
I can't believe that everybody
(Is) Lining up for tix for lottery

I strive to pick the correct five
And that one red lucky ball of power
I count so many printed out
Tied the machine up for half-an-hour
I will make sure not anybody
(But) me will win this gi-ant lottery

My paychecks for the next two years are buyed up
The college funds for both our kids are dried up
This should be enough to tilt the odds right toward my way
But I guess we'll see

'Cause maybe
This is a billion-dollar payday
I've risked it all
Playing Powerball

Today was s'posed to be the day
But the numbers didn't fall my way
This sucks; five-hundred million bucks
To a housekeeper in Santa Fe
I really doubt that anybody
Feels my way about this lottery

'Cause my wife left and my house is foreclosing
The guys that I made deals with are enclosing
Could the winner please send me a couple thousand bucks
In a mad hurry?!

'Cause maybe
The mob is coming 'round to slay me
I lost it all
Playing Powerball

'Cause maybe
I need to sell one of my kidneys
It's my downfall
That damned Powerball

Well, maybe
I quit playing ev'ry lo-tte-ry
Wait, Mega-Millions' jackpot's WHAT? Say...
Buddy, spare a dollar to save me?