Song Parodies -> Don't Sack Nutt, You Plonker
| Original Song Title: | "Don't Look Back In Anger" |
| Original Performer: | Oasis |
| Parody Song Title: | "Don't Sack Nutt, You Plonker" |
| Parody Written by: | Phil Alexander |
ACMD, the Advisory Council on the Misuse of Drugs, is a body created to advise govenment on drugs and their classification.
The drug classification system in the UK is a strange beast, with no evidence basis to back it up: drug classification relates neither to the harm that drugs do, nor has any noticeable effect on usage (indeed, when the classification of cannabis was relaxed from category B to cat C, usage actually fell). It has more to do with posturing politicians and tabloid headlines than rationality or evidence.
Given that, it was hardly surprising that Professor David Nutt, the (now ex-)head of the ACMD and Alan Johnson, the Home Secretary, had differences of opinion; but when a politician contradicts ten years worth of research presumably because he feels it'll play better to the public, he's probably expecting the scientist concerned to roll over and agree with his political master. Not this one - Prof Nutt criticised the government for its wanton ignoring of the evidence, and was sacked.
The drug classification system in the UK is a strange beast, with no evidence basis to back it up: drug classification relates neither to the harm that drugs do, nor has any noticeable effect on usage (indeed, when the classification of cannabis was relaxed from category B to cat C, usage actually fell). It has more to do with posturing politicians and tabloid headlines than rationality or evidence.
Given that, it was hardly surprising that Professor David Nutt, the (now ex-)head of the ACMD and Alan Johnson, the Home Secretary, had differences of opinion; but when a politician contradicts ten years worth of research presumably because he feels it'll play better to the public, he's probably expecting the scientist concerned to roll over and agree with his political master. Not this one - Prof Nutt criticised the government for its wanton ignoring of the evidence, and was sacked.
Look inside the "brilliant" minds
That you hope you might find
At the DoJ
Scientists on ACMD
Will do the research they need
Help 'em go the right way
When NuLab got elected, said there'd be
A thing called "evidence-based policy"
Did that even get out of the room?
Didn't know they really meant
Policy-based evidence
Now it seems they're gonna kick their Nutt out
So, Johnson you prat, just look at the stats
And let people get high
And why is E class A?
But don't sack Nutt, you plonker
Just to get your way
Sucking up to the Daily Mail
Is one epic fail, whether you're right or wrong
And don't say you've a basis in science
Then demand compliance
Of one who proves you are wrong
I'm gonna question class'fication based on harm
'Cause pot and E don't harm as much as some
There's more danger in riding a horse
Politicians spout nonsense
Ignoring the evidence
They're more worried 'bout headlines in the Sun
So Johnson, you prat, stop acting the twat
As you try to decide
What drugs are cat A
And don't sack Nutt, you plonker
('cause he's on no pay)
So Johnson, you prat, you ignorant twat
Won't you please tell us why
You canned Nutt today
Yes you sacked Nutt, you plonker
'Cause he said "nay"
So Johnson, you prat, now we all know that
You've been caught in a lie
Arsehole, just go away
'Cause you sacked Nutt, you plonker.. you nut-sack, ****ing wanker
To get your way
Why is E class A?
That you hope you might find
At the DoJ
Scientists on ACMD
Will do the research they need
Help 'em go the right way
When NuLab got elected, said there'd be
A thing called "evidence-based policy"
Did that even get out of the room?
Didn't know they really meant
Policy-based evidence
Now it seems they're gonna kick their Nutt out
So, Johnson you prat, just look at the stats
And let people get high
And why is E class A?
But don't sack Nutt, you plonker
Just to get your way
Sucking up to the Daily Mail
Is one epic fail, whether you're right or wrong
And don't say you've a basis in science
Then demand compliance
Of one who proves you are wrong
I'm gonna question class'fication based on harm
'Cause pot and E don't harm as much as some
There's more danger in riding a horse
Politicians spout nonsense
Ignoring the evidence
They're more worried 'bout headlines in the Sun
So Johnson, you prat, stop acting the twat
As you try to decide
What drugs are cat A
And don't sack Nutt, you plonker
('cause he's on no pay)
So Johnson, you prat, you ignorant twat
Won't you please tell us why
You canned Nutt today
Yes you sacked Nutt, you plonker
'Cause he said "nay"
So Johnson, you prat, now we all know that
You've been caught in a lie
Arsehole, just go away
'Cause you sacked Nutt, you plonker.. you nut-sack, ****ing wanker
To get your way
Why is E class A?
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Oops.. forgot to thank touchingcloth on the badscience forum for suggesting which OS to use for this parody.
Nice to see the USA doesn't have a monopoly on these awful Pols. Good write up in the parody.
Thanks for stopping by, Timmy. I guess this isn't as big a story as I thought.
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This is view # 92
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