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Song Parodies -> "Bert"
Original Song Title:
"Hurt"
(MP3)Original Performer:
Nine Inch Nails
Parody Song Title:
"Bert"
Parody Written by:
Michael Pacholek
The Lyrics
Recently redone in spectacular fashion by Johnny Cash, of course. How did that TV show opening go? Oh yeah: On November 13, Bert Unger was asked to remove himself from his place of residence. That request came from his wife. Deep down, he knew she was right. But he also knew that, one day, he would return to her. With nowhere else to go, he showed up at the home of his friend Ernie Madison. Several years earlier, Ernie's wife had thrown him out, asking that he never return. Can two divorced Muppets share an apartment without driving each other crazy?
Hey, Bert, I came today to see what is the deal.
You focus on my toys, the only thing that's real.
A clean place is your goal, of this you often sing.
Try to throw my trash away, but I still salvage everything.
What have I become, my sweetest friend?
Everyone I know says we're gay in the end.
Oscar wants it all, my empire of dirt.
I have let you down, my old buddy Bert.
I wear this stripe-d shirt upon my orange chest
full of someone's hands to move my arms the best.
Beneath the weight of crud I have behind my ears
my rubber duckie says I ain't bathed in years.
What have I become, my sweetest friend?
Everyone I know says we're gay in the end.
Oscar wants it all, my empire of dirt.
I have let you down, my old buddy Bert.
If I could start again, here on Sesame Street
I would keep it clean, our lives would be complete.
You focus on my toys, the only thing that's real.
A clean place is your goal, of this you often sing.
Try to throw my trash away, but I still salvage everything.
What have I become, my sweetest friend?
Everyone I know says we're gay in the end.
Oscar wants it all, my empire of dirt.
I have let you down, my old buddy Bert.
I wear this stripe-d shirt upon my orange chest
full of someone's hands to move my arms the best.
Beneath the weight of crud I have behind my ears
my rubber duckie says I ain't bathed in years.
What have I become, my sweetest friend?
Everyone I know says we're gay in the end.
Oscar wants it all, my empire of dirt.
I have let you down, my old buddy Bert.
If I could start again, here on Sesame Street
I would keep it clean, our lives would be complete.
Does anyone have a tissue? That's three, three "Sesame Street" parodies I have written! Ah-ah-ah!
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Voting Breakdown
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| 5 | 6 | 8 | 7 |
User Comments
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Suh-weet! It sounds like you have a "specialty" topic, try more! Brings a tear to my eye, too.
A Nine Inch Nails song about Sesame Street... truly a classic!!
Love this, Mikey.
Sesame owns...
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