Only pairin' for me
Hope it becomes canon

OTP, easy to explain it
So I'll just plainly say it
To spare all y'all web-searchin' to explain it
O is for One, yeah, T is for True, a lack-of-falsehood
The last P is for Pairin', sound good? Huh
Well, it's a common cry for online folk in arguments on shippin'
"But what's shippin'?" I may hear you askin' clear
See, it's short for relationshippin', should be pretty self-explainin'
But I see some eyebrows that are raisin', damn it
You ever read a comic, watched a film or seen a show
And you see two characters who seem to be pretty close
They've got good chemistry, together always hangin' 'round
Then they start datin' other characters and you flip out?
It's clearly an af F to the R to the O to the N to the T
To your headcanon, makes you pout, post online with fury
That's OTP, favoured relationship in fiction
And although one's favoured pairin' can, in fact, be canon
It seems more likely for the pairin' to go against that
And this creates unneeded conflict between many fans
Who favour their own OTP, hate if you don't ship it
That's how it goes, though it sounds stupid

You got an OTP? (Fills you with glee)
You got an OTP? (When it gets teased)
You got an OTP? (It makes you squee)
Who's got an OTP? (When they share a scene)
You got an OTP? (Fanfics: sixteen)
You got an OTP? (Hook-up quickly)
You got an OTP? (Hold hands and squeeze)
Who's got an OTP? (Do the nasty)

You might be thinkin' OTP's are not important
But for some to go against their pairin' is quite abhorrent
To them, no acknowledgement of their views is the meanest
Can't they see that the male lead clearly longs for his best friend's penis?
Wait, that just lacks of tact and implies the only quality
Of fan's wants involves just sex, that's mockery
Sure, the sexy-funtime fics are quite common, it seems
Let's not skew the facts, please
Cause not ev'ry claim of OTP involves a fictional dude's sex life
Most often people think a certain couple would be nice
Girl's not a bitch, guy's not a douche, so it would seem okay
That when not kickin' ninja ass, they could go on a date
There's a trend of seein' sexual tension when it's not there
It's not true love just cause one of them breathed the other's air
And just because two dudes hang out, they're the tightest of bros
It doesn't always mean they're hidin' behind the closet do'
Now though I may critique the fandoms I'm in, I can't lie
Those OTPs? Had by me! Quite a few, by the by
Not gonna tell you what they are, you'll have to work it out
Don't you frown, not the point now

The point is OTPs (got two or three)
I'm talkin' OTPs (make me happy)
I've got some OTPs (I ship with glee)
Who else has OTPS? (most of us, buddy)
You got an OTP? (live off ship tease)
You got an OTP? (debunked, you scream)
You got an OTP? (hinted, you squee)
Who's got an OTP? (give them more scenes)

Do you have a NoTP? The opposite of the above crap
Two characters that you never wanna see shack
Up, whenever you see the pairin' in fan-fiction
You try to do anythin' you think you can to block it, ban it
Most fandoms can bring about a great amount of crazy feelin's
No wonder ev'ry day you get a thread 'bout someone quittin'
And sometimes you wanna tell 'em that they don't have to leave
And then you don't care because they ship your NoTP
It may sound petty, but in forums that's just how it goes
Seems a lot of the time, there's no room for friendships to grow
And though a member may make good points and draw awesome art
Cause they don't share your OTP, they're from Lucifer's arse
I know this is exaggeratin' what shippin's about
Not ev'ryone squees when CPR comes to mouth-to-mouth
But in dumb songs like this, the focus is entertainment
Facts get in the way of that, you need a little fiction
I'm gettin' off track here, that much I will be admittin'
I hope that I've gotten across what this OTP nonsense is
So that when someone online says they ship it
You don't have to ask, I gave the gist of it

You got an OTP? (Who should marry)
You got an OTP? (Hermione?)
You got an OTP? (Ron or Harry?)
Who's got an OTP? (Which makes you squee?)
You got an OTP? (You said Ginny?)
You got an OTP? (I won't judge thee)
You got an OTP? (What makes you squee)
Who's got an OTP? (Is fine with me)
Let it out