Making fun of music, one song at a time. Since the year 2000.
Check out the two amIright misheard lyrics books including one book devoted to misheard lyrics of the 1980s.
(Toggle Right Side Navigation)

Song Parodies -> "Triple Dog Dare"

Original Song Title:

"Will You Be There?"

Original Performer:

Michael Jackson

Parody Song Title:

"Triple Dog Dare"

Parody Written by:


The Lyrics

It's been so hot lately, it's almost enough to make me wish I could stick my tongue to a flagpole to cool off! Here's a parody involving the famous schoolyard scene in "A Christmas Story"; Flick's lines are in his head, while Schwartz, Ralphie and their teacher speak out loud. To the tune of my all-time favorite Michael Jackson song...
Schwartz: Dare you.
I double dare you.
Double dog dare you.
Triple dog dare!

Flick: Schoolyard
In the middle of winter.
My buddy is goading me.
Pretty poor friend!

Lousy Schwartz.
What game is he playing?
He’s pointing and saying,
“Triple dog dare!”

Schwartz: Dare you.
I double dare you.
(Flick: Why?)
Schwartz: Double dog dare you.
(Flick: Shut up!)
Schwartz: Triple dog dare!
(Flick: That’s so dumb!)

Schwartz: Dare you.
I double dare you.
Double dog dare you.
(Flick: So dumb, Schwartz!)
Schwartz: Triple dog dare!

Flick: Flagpole,
Imposing and icy.
My chances are dicey.
The guys are behind me.

They’re all staring.
They’ve gathered to mock me.
And me, I can’t talk because I took the dare,
And boy, was that stupid!

Schwartz: Dare you.
I double dare you.
(Flick: What?)
Schwartz: Double dog dare you.
Triple dog dare!
(Flick: That’s so dumb!)

Schwartz: Dare you.
I double dare you.
(Flick: Ugh...)
Schwartz: Double dog dare you.
Triple dog dare!

Flick: Help, ’cause I’ve got a flagpole on me!
Lost all my verbal control, you see.
Can’t say that it was my goal to be
Freezing cold and stuck.
I’m livid and unlucky!

Ralphie: Uh-oh.
(Flick: Ralphie!)
Ralphie: Looks like it’s frozen.
(Flick: Help me!)
Ralphie: School doors are closin’.
(Flick: Please!)
Ralphie: Look, Flick, I care.
(Flick: Weird way to show it!)

Ralphie: But... well...
(Flick: Well what?)
Ralphie: You hear the school bell.
(Flick: Yeah, who cares?)
Ralphie: Flick, if you can’t tell,
(Flick: Please!)
Ralphie: I’m feeling stressed.
(Flick: Gee, how do I feel?)

Schwartz: Ralphie...
(Flick: Hey, Schwartz...)
Schwartz: Look at ‘im flailing.
(Flick: You watch out!)
Schwartz: Hear how he’s wailing.
(Flick: Yeah...)
Schwartz: Ralphie, I’m scared.
(Flick: I’m gonna getcha!)

Flick: Save me!
(Schwartz: Sorry!)
Flick: I behaved bravely!
(Schwartz: Gotta run, gotta run...)
Flick: Why did you say to me,
“Triple dog dare?”
(Schwartz: Spare me your glare.)

Flick: Tricked me.
(Schwartz: See ya, Flick!)
Flick: Tricked me so coldly.
Nobody told me
(Ralphie: Bye!)
Flick: Life’s so unfair.
(Schwartz: Hang in there!)

Flick: Pull me.
(Schwartz: So...)
Flick: Try to unstick me.
(Schwartz: Any chance he’ll get loose?)
Flick: Get me off quickly!
(Ralphie: From the flagpole? No chance.)
Flick: Boy, what a pair...
(Schwartz: What a dumb dare...)

Flick: Free me!
(Miss Shields: Class...)
Flick: Somebody, see me!
(Miss Shields: Wait, he’s where? He’s out there? How did that happen?)
Flick: Wanna feel steamy!
(Miss Shields: What a mess!)
Flick: Boy, I’m depressed...
(Miss Shields: Coming, Flick!)
Bilbopooh's Parody Corner (Random fun note: MJ was in the security code when I posted this!)

Your Vote & Comment Counts

The parody authors spend a lot of time writing parodies for the website and they appreciate feedback in the form of votes and comments. Please take some time to leave a comment below about this parody.

Place Your Vote

Matches Pace of
Original Song: 
How Funny: 
Overall Score: 

In order for your vote to count, you need to hit the 'Place Your Vote' button.

Voting Results

Pacing: 4.5
How Funny: 4.6
Overall Rating: 4.6

Total Votes: 8

Voting Breakdown

The following represent how many people voted for each category.

    Pacing How Funny Overall Rating
 1   0
 2   1
 3   0
 4   1
 5   6

User Comments

Comments are subject to review, and can be removed by the administration of the site at any time and for any reason.

Old Man Ribber - August 02, 2010 - Report this comment
Ralphie meets Michael Jackson! Nothing but the best here! Good choice of subject and the perfect song as well. But be'll shoot your eye out! ;D
Bilbopooh - August 02, 2010 - Report this comment
Many thanks, Old Man! But boy, you're as much of a killjoy as Santa Claus! :-P
Mark Scotti - August 13, 2010 - Report this comment
(Artistry) My favorite Christmas movie!!! VERY well done. 555 bb's will shoot a LOT of eyes out. LOL!!!
Bilbopooh - August 13, 2010 - Report this comment
Thanks, Mark!! We can't let a Christmas go by around our house without watching Ralphie shoot his eye out either... 8-)
Matthias - August 13, 2010 - Report this comment
Not a big fan of the original song and the pacing seemed a bit out of whack for me but I love "A Christmas Story" and I thought your tribute to the legendary flagpole scene was well done overall. (Actually gave me an idea which I might role with: "Flagpole Licka" to "Flagpole Sitta" by Harvey Danger)
Bilbopooh - August 13, 2010 - Report this comment
Thanks, Matthias! I don't know "Flagpole Sitta" but I look forward to your parody if you decide to do it!

One thing I should maybe clarify is that the "dare you" choruses are meant to line up with the "oo-oo-oo" parts in the OS. I tried to be pretty diligent with the pacing but I did have a hard time figuring out just what MJ was shouting some of the time...
Below Average Dave - August 19, 2010 - Report this comment
Hahaha. . .I don't know pacing wasn't perfect, but the whole idea was just all out fun. . .a few more examples of dares could have pushed this to a new level, this sappy OS with a topic like this is a perfect contrast!
Bilbopooh - August 19, 2010 - Report this comment
Thanks, Dave! Hmm, I wonder what other unfortunate circumstances Flick was goaded into before this? I would hope he'd be a little more careful about accepting dares afterward...
Christie Marie M - August 20, 2010 - Report this comment
Enjoyed watching Christmas Story every year during the holidays. Yeah, the Triple Dog Dare is my favorite part of the movie! Loved how you tied this OS to this hilarious holiday classic. This is my one of my fave MJ song. Triple Dog 5's for your Triple Dog Dare!
Bilbopooh - August 21, 2010 - Report this comment
Thanks, Christie! I'll definitely be watching Ralphie and his pals in a few months! :D
bobpiecheese - August 22, 2010 - Report this comment
(Artistry) Remind me to put "A Christmas Story" on my movies-I-have-to-watch-in-order-to-understand-more-references-in-the-stuff-I-read-and-watch list. Still a good parody even without the background of the film, worth 555.
Bilbopooh - August 22, 2010 - Report this comment
Thanks, Bob! It's definitely a movie worth watching! :D
Agrimorfee - August 24, 2010 - Report this comment
Shameless self-promotion of my "Santa At Higbee's 8:45-9pm" and "Ralphie" is worthy here, to note that this parody is just as good as those like a "A Christmas Story" festival showing on TNT!
Bilbopooh - August 26, 2010 - Report this comment
Thanks, Agrimorfee! I'll check those out! :D
Rex - August 29, 2010 - Report this comment
(Artistry) They should retroactively fit this song into the movie. Nice work!
Bilbopooh - August 29, 2010 - Report this comment
Thanks, Rex! :D

The author of the parody has authorized comments, and wants YOUR feedback.

Link To This Page

The address of this page is: For help, see the examples of how to link to this page.

This is view # 1461