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Song Parodies -> "The Cavity Remains"

Original Song Title:

"The Memory Remains"

 (MP3)
Original Performer:

Metallica

Parody Song Title:

"The Cavity Remains"

Parody Written by:

SamuraiMaster

The Lyrics

Well, because "Fade to Plaque" was written by SMG ( Read here), I had to write an unofficial sequel if you wanna call it that. Something very similar was written already, but I figured, I'll try to do a better job, since it wasn't even all that popular.
Drill shut down
Decay found
Teeth all crowned
But the cavity remains

Sugar downed, like last nights beer
Little time to brush, I fear
Seems I trashed my mouth and had a bad roll of the dice
Thought it wasn't a big deal
Man I wish that teeth could heal
Horrified that my teeth have finally paid the full price

Blackened mole
Fill those holes
Heavy toll

Drill shut down
Decay found
Teeth all crowned
Yet the cavity remains

Never flossed and never brushed
My gums, gingivitis crushed
As the molars start to fall out in the back
My incisors all are cracked
And teeth will not grow back
Grind the food, feed the germs, fade to plaque

Wisdoms pulled
Insurance sold
Gas is cold

Drill shut down
Decay found
Teeth all crowned
Now my mouth is all gold

Why did I never-ever brush? Why did I always rush?
Why did I devour all that junk? Now I look like a punk.
Why can't teeth be like bones and heal? This ruins my appeal.
Now all my teeth are on the floor. And I'm not even forty-four.

Fall away, rot away, I wear false teeth
Grind the food, feed the germs, fade to plaque

No more teeth
I barely speak
Look like a freak

Drill shut down
Decay found
Teeth all crowned
Yet the cavity remains!
Grind the food, feed the germs, fade to plaque
The cavity remains!
I look like Grandma White
Yeah yeah yeah yeah

(guitar solo)

And now my mouth is gold

Why did I never-ever brush? Why did I always rush?
Why did I devour all that junk? Now I look like a punk.
Why can't teeth be like bones and heal? This ruins my appeal.
Now all my teeth are on the floor. And I'm not even forty-four.

(repeat until the end)
(spoken softly)
Brush your teeth. Two times a day.
All your teeth. Or else you'll pay...
None of you know how scared I am of my next dental appointment. I've been rather bad to my mouth and I am starting to feel it in the back. Of course I also need my wisdom's pulled. Jesus Christ I hate teeth sometimes...

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Original Song: 
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Voting Results

 
Pacing: 5.0
How Funny: 5.0
Overall Rating: 5.0

Total Votes: 10

Voting Breakdown

The following represent how many people voted for each category.

    Pacing How Funny Overall Rating
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 2   0
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 3   0
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 4   0
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 5   10
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 10
 

User Comments

Comments are subject to review, and can be removed by the administration of the site at any time and for any reason.

Old Man Ribber - October 25, 2010 - Report this comment
Master - Painfully funny! Fine job. ;D
Mark Scotti - November 15, 2010 - Report this comment
(SOTM) my teeth are hurting reading this...LOL
Below Average Dave - November 18, 2010 - Report this comment
Bad timing to read this for me--just literally got a tooth extraction that I wasn't expecting yesterday because of a 'cavity that remained'. . in a wisdom tooth--can't reach the darn things easily, so I've lost one now. . .and it hurts really bad at the moment. . .great TOS choice. . .
Matthias - November 18, 2010 - Report this comment
I'm not quite sure what's so funny about going to the dentist but every good parodist has done a song about it. Me with "See the Dentist", Dave with "Tooth Decay", Weird Al with "Cavity Search" and now you with this one. Great job.
Chris Bodily TM - November 21, 2010 - Report this comment
(SOTM) The lines about gingivitis and Grandma (Betty?) White made me, um, smile. This is why you should always brush your teeth twice a day, if you do anything for your teeth. 555
Peter Andersson - November 28, 2010 - Report this comment
I didn't get why the cavity remained when you had all them teeth replaced with gold, but this song worked very well over the original themewise and moodwise, should it ever be recorded I suggest having the annoying la-la-la-la parts filled with even more horrifying drilling sounds... :-)
Phil Alexander - November 29, 2010 - Report this comment
Fantastic - the tooth, the hole tooth and nothing left of the tooth :-)
bobpiecheese - November 29, 2010 - Report this comment
(SOTM) Great parody here! A recording would really work, as all the metal yelling required will fit well with the painful subject matter. $555 dentist's bill!
MikeJ - November 30, 2010 - Report this comment
Pure poetry. Perfect! Three 10's! Pursue recording as suggested.
Jeff Reuben - November 30, 2010 - Report this comment
Funny song, getting comments for it has been like pulling teeth :) Worked very well with the original.

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