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Song Parodies -> "The Cavity Remains"
Original Song Title:
"The Memory Remains"
(MP3)Original Performer:
Metallica
Parody Song Title:
"The Cavity Remains"
Parody Written by:
SamuraiMaster
The Lyrics
Well, because "Fade to Plaque" was written by SMG ( Read here), I had to write an unofficial sequel if you wanna call it that. Something very similar was written already, but I figured, I'll try to do a better job, since it wasn't even all that popular.
Drill shut down
Decay found
Teeth all crowned
But the cavity remains
Sugar downed, like last nights beer
Little time to brush, I fear
Seems I trashed my mouth and had a bad roll of the dice
Thought it wasn't a big deal
Man I wish that teeth could heal
Horrified that my teeth have finally paid the full price
Blackened mole
Fill those holes
Heavy toll
Drill shut down
Decay found
Teeth all crowned
Yet the cavity remains
Never flossed and never brushed
My gums, gingivitis crushed
As the molars start to fall out in the back
My incisors all are cracked
And teeth will not grow back
Grind the food, feed the germs, fade to plaque
Wisdoms pulled
Insurance sold
Gas is cold
Drill shut down
Decay found
Teeth all crowned
Now my mouth is all gold
Why did I never-ever brush? Why did I always rush?
Why did I devour all that junk? Now I look like a punk.
Why can't teeth be like bones and heal? This ruins my appeal.
Now all my teeth are on the floor. And I'm not even forty-four.
Fall away, rot away, I wear false teeth
Grind the food, feed the germs, fade to plaque
No more teeth
I barely speak
Look like a freak
Drill shut down
Decay found
Teeth all crowned
Yet the cavity remains!
Grind the food, feed the germs, fade to plaque
The cavity remains!
I look like Grandma White
Yeah yeah yeah yeah
(guitar solo)
And now my mouth is gold
Why did I never-ever brush? Why did I always rush?
Why did I devour all that junk? Now I look like a punk.
Why can't teeth be like bones and heal? This ruins my appeal.
Now all my teeth are on the floor. And I'm not even forty-four.
(repeat until the end)
(spoken softly)
Brush your teeth. Two times a day.
All your teeth. Or else you'll pay...
Decay found
Teeth all crowned
But the cavity remains
Sugar downed, like last nights beer
Little time to brush, I fear
Seems I trashed my mouth and had a bad roll of the dice
Thought it wasn't a big deal
Man I wish that teeth could heal
Horrified that my teeth have finally paid the full price
Blackened mole
Fill those holes
Heavy toll
Drill shut down
Decay found
Teeth all crowned
Yet the cavity remains
Never flossed and never brushed
My gums, gingivitis crushed
As the molars start to fall out in the back
My incisors all are cracked
And teeth will not grow back
Grind the food, feed the germs, fade to plaque
Wisdoms pulled
Insurance sold
Gas is cold
Drill shut down
Decay found
Teeth all crowned
Now my mouth is all gold
Why did I never-ever brush? Why did I always rush?
Why did I devour all that junk? Now I look like a punk.
Why can't teeth be like bones and heal? This ruins my appeal.
Now all my teeth are on the floor. And I'm not even forty-four.
Fall away, rot away, I wear false teeth
Grind the food, feed the germs, fade to plaque
No more teeth
I barely speak
Look like a freak
Drill shut down
Decay found
Teeth all crowned
Yet the cavity remains!
Grind the food, feed the germs, fade to plaque
The cavity remains!
I look like Grandma White
Yeah yeah yeah yeah
(guitar solo)
And now my mouth is gold
Why did I never-ever brush? Why did I always rush?
Why did I devour all that junk? Now I look like a punk.
Why can't teeth be like bones and heal? This ruins my appeal.
Now all my teeth are on the floor. And I'm not even forty-four.
(repeat until the end)
(spoken softly)
Brush your teeth. Two times a day.
All your teeth. Or else you'll pay...
None of you know how scared I am of my next dental appointment. I've been rather bad to my mouth and I am starting to feel it in the back. Of course I also need my wisdom's pulled. Jesus Christ I hate teeth sometimes...
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Voting Results
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Voting Breakdown
The following represent how many people voted for each category.
| Pacing | How Funny | Overall Rating | |||||||||
| 1 | 0 | 0 | 0 | ||||||||
| 2 | 0 | 0 | 0 | ||||||||
| 3 | 0 | 0 | 0 | ||||||||
| 4 | 0 | 0 | 0 | ||||||||
| 5 | 10 | 10 | 10 |
User Comments
Comments are subject to review, and can be removed by the administration of the site at any time and for any reason.
Master - Painfully funny! Fine job. ;D
(SOTM) my teeth are hurting reading this...LOL
Bad timing to read this for me--just literally got a tooth extraction that I wasn't expecting yesterday because of a 'cavity that remained'. . in a wisdom tooth--can't reach the darn things easily, so I've lost one now. . .and it hurts really bad at the moment. . .great TOS choice. . .
I'm not quite sure what's so funny about going to the dentist but every good parodist has done a song about it. Me with "See the Dentist", Dave with "Tooth Decay", Weird Al with "Cavity Search" and now you with this one. Great job.
(SOTM) The lines about gingivitis and Grandma (Betty?) White made me, um, smile. This is why you should always brush your teeth twice a day, if you do anything for your teeth. 555
I didn't get why the cavity remained when you had all them teeth replaced with gold, but this song worked very well over the original themewise and moodwise, should it ever be recorded I suggest having the annoying la-la-la-la parts filled with even more horrifying drilling sounds... :-)
Fantastic - the tooth, the hole tooth and nothing left of the tooth :-)
(SOTM) Great parody here! A recording would really work, as all the metal yelling required will fit well with the painful subject matter. $555 dentist's bill!
Pure poetry. Perfect! Three 10's!
Pursue recording as suggested.
Funny song, getting comments for it has been like pulling teeth :) Worked very well with the original.
The author of the parody has authorized comments, and wants YOUR feedback.
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