And I would do anything for Trump
I’d drive two nails into my feet
I would do anything for Trump
If he told me to, I’d give up meat

But I’ll never betray the one to whom I bow
Oh no, no way
And I would do anything for Trump
Even lie and cheat
Yes, I’d lie and cheat

Anything for Trump
Yes, I would do anything for Trump
I would do anything for Trump
Even lie and cheat
Yes, I’d lie and cheat

And some say that I’m a cultist
And some say that I’m insane
Some say that I’ve got no spine
And Trump’s got my tongue in his rear end

And some think my memes are fire
Some think my heart’s cold as ice
Some think that my vulgar demeanor
Has to be some kind of sin

And maybe I’m racist
But is racist all that bad?
Got no social graces
Don’t need social graces, I’m a cad
As long as he’s ranting and raving
As long as this land needs saving
As long as the MAGA crowd are here
Then I’ll be right with ‘em

‘Cause I would do anything for Trump
Even eat nothing except for beets
Yes I would do anything for Trump
Well, I’d run butt-naked through the streets
But I’ll never forgive myself if he isn’t winning it all, this fall
And I would do anything for Trump
I would do anything for Trump
I would do anything for Trump
Even lie and cheat
Yes, I’d lie and cheat

I would do anything for Trump
Wear mismatched clothes, just like a chump
I’d even lie and cheat

I would do anything for Trump
Eat junk food till I get real plump
I’d even lie and cheat

I would do anything for Trump
Just like Steve Brodie, take a jump
I’d even lie and cheat

And some people call me fascist
Some people think I’m a troll
Some think I’m obsessed with God
And others say I’ve got no soul

And some say that I hate women
Some say my memes are droll
Some say that I’m full of hate
And should just shut my own pie hole

And maybe I’m sexist
And Nikki Haley would agree
From Utah to Texas
No one can offend ‘em quite like me

As long as the edgelords are posting
As long as the platforms are hosting
As long as they’re clicking on “like” and “share”
Then I will keep going

And I will do anything for Trump
Yes, I’d go out in Death Valley heat
I would do anything for Trump
And there’s nothing that I wouldn’t tweet
But I never will be happy till Joe Biden is gone
And the Don is back
And I would do anything for Trump
Yes I would do anything for Trump
I would do anything for Trump
Even lie and cheat
Yes, I’d lie and cheat

I would do anything for Trump
Tattoo his face upon my rump
I’d even lie and cheat

I would do anything for Trump
Cut fifty trees down to the stump
I’d even lie and cheat

I would do anything for Trump
Wipe him after he takes a dump
I’d even lie and cheat

I would do anything for Trump
Sit on the couch, watch Forrest Gump
Ninety times on repeat

I would do anything for Trump
Carve his name on a camel’s hump
I’d even lie and cheat

I would do anything for Trump
Shape his shed skin into a clump
I’d even lie and cheat

I would do anything for Trump
Let him punch me, give me a lump
I’d even lie and cheat

But I’ll never stop saying all the things that make Dems upset
No way
And I would do anything for Trump
I would do anything for Trump
I would do anything for Trump
Even lie and cheat
Yes, I’d lie and cheat

[Trump sings]
Will you follow me
And do what I say
Would you shred the Constitution if it’s what I want today?
Would you break the rules if I say so?

[Dilley sings]
I would do that
Yes, I would do that

[Trump]
Will you tell me everything
I want to hear?
Will you butter me up so
Speak sweet nothings in my ear?
Will you make it so I never feel low?

[Dilley sings]
I would do that
I would do that

[Trump]
Would you dress like a plumber if I so demand?
Would you break into a hotel with your own bare hands?
Then disguise your voice to make some calls?

[Dilley sings]
I would do that
I would do that

[Trump]
Would you cater to every weird request I make?
If I said you had to do it, would you step on a rake?
Even if it really hurt your balls?

[Dilley sings]
I would do that
I would do that

[Trump]
After a while, I will get tired of you
You bet I’ll send you packing and then you’ll be through
And then I’ll trash you on TV

[Dilley]
Please don’t do that
Please don’t do that

[Trump]
Just like the others, I’ll say you don’t belong
Throw you under the bus, it’s the same old song
And I’ll say you were no use to me

[Dilley]
Please don’t do that
Please don’t do that

Anything for Trump
I would do anything for Trump
I would do anything for Trump
Even lie and cheat
Yes, I’d lie and cheat